


If We Meet Beyond Reason

by poorly_animated



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angry Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Bombing, Bombs, Break Up, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Come Shot, Drinking Games, Drunk Sex, Drunken Shenanigans, Established Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Getting Back Together, Hate Sex, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Improper Use of Hatsu, Injury Recovery, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Oral Sex, Post-Canon, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Serious Injuries, Smut, Trans Male Character, Underage Drinking, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:54:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28378806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poorly_animated/pseuds/poorly_animated
Summary: Leorio and Kurapika have secretly been sleeping together for over a year, but they’ve avoided discussing the nature of their relationship, each knowing they have conflicting views on the subject. A terrorist attack rocks the city right in the middle of their first argument about what they’ve been doing. Forced to work together as members of the Zodiacs, they must contend with their complicated feelings for each other, a city in chaos, and the threat of losing everything.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika & Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight, Leorio Paladiknight & Cheadle Yorkshire
Comments: 23
Kudos: 60





	1. Wildly Inappropriate

The Zodiac meeting was two hours in when Kurapika felt a foot nudge against his. He looked up, startled, but Leorio was dutifully taking notes and nodding as Cheadle spoke. His long legs gently dragged the hem of Kurapika’s pants up and the blonde flushed and looked away. He slid his legs closer to his chair. Leorio shot him a quick wink and turned back to clarify a point about vaccine development. Kurapika sighed and tried not to daydream about pulling him into an empty conference room. He froze as he felt a hand rest on his upper thigh. Leorio’s arm was concealed under the table, but the portal at its wrist connected the hand to Kurapika’s leg. The Kurta glared at him and pried his fingers loose. 

Pyon elbowed him and stuck out her tongue. “Gross,” she whispered, “save it for the bedroom.”

“We’re not—“ 

But she turned away, whispering something to Kanzai. The tiger snickered and glanced at Kurapika, who was turning pinker by the second. Cheadle wrapped up, giving Leorio a stern look as she folded her arms. The tall man chuckled and rubbed the back of his head bashfully. 

In the hall, Kurapika pulled Leorio aside. “What the hell was that,” he hissed. 

“I was so bored,” Leorio whined, “I just wanted to mess with you.”

“This is not the time nor the place, Leorio. You are truly impossible.”

Leorio grinned and took his hand, bringing to his lips. Kurapika snatched it back. His chains clinked loudly, drawing a few stares. “Stop it,” he hissed, “you’re really pushing it today.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, jeez, I didn’t think you’d be so upset. I’m only teasing, sunshine.”

“Don’t call me that here. This is wildly inappropriate, Leorio. I’ll—“ he looked around. A few members of the Zodiacs were finishing up a discussion down the hall, moving towards them at a steady pace. “I’ll be... Yes, I’ll let you know.” He slipped away just as Cheadle was walking up to Leorio. 

  
  


“Mr. Paradinight!!” she barked. She only called him that when she was fed up. 

Leorio just smirked and adjusted his glasses, confident he could charm his way out of her wrath. “Yes, Chairman?,” he said in his meekest voice.

“The Zodiac Council is NOT a GAME!! I am ENTRUSTING you with CRITICAL RESPONSIBILITIES, and you—you treat this like a SCHOOL ASSEMBLY!!” Cheadle’s nose perked up with indignation as her fists trembled at her sides. The crowds of people moving through the passages gave her a wide berth, surrounding the pair in a rustle of murmurs. 

The Boar chuckled. “I’m not sure I know what you mean,” he said, “I take the Council very seriously.”

“DON’T YOU PLAY WITH ME!!,” the woman snapped. “I don’t know WHAT you are THINKING, but the council is NOT a DATING POOL!! I trusted your recommendation, and he has never given me a moment of doubt, but YOU, on the other hand—“

“Oh, I’m glad you think so highly of Kurapika! He is pretty great,” Leorio interrupted.

“YOU—YOU—DID YOU ONLY NOMINATE HIM TO FURTHER YOUR OWN SELFISH INTERESTS?! I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED WHEN I WAS ADVISED AGAINST INDUCTING YOU!!” 

“Whoa now, I’ve been nothing but supportive and serious all along! You can’t blame me for wanting to poke a bit of fun. He’s always so serious, I was only trying to tease him.” 

“YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Cheadle shrieked. Everyone in the hall had melted away, deciding the potential gossip may not be worth incurring the chairwoman’s wrath. “HE IS RESPONSIBLE, and FOCUSED, and he takes this SERIOUSLY! Why, if he asked me to remove you from the council, I might just do it!” 

She huffed and turned away, trying to calm herself back into her dog persona. Leorio was an incredible student, one of her favorites she’d ever taught. In the midst of overwhelming chaos, he’d been able to keep his gentle bedside manner with his patients, remaining unfazed by the unpredictable horrors wrought by inhabitants of the Dark Continent. He learned quickly and set others at ease. Sometimes she even felt he could read her mind with the way he’d effortlessly adapted to predicting her needs and requests. But he was still young, she reminded herself, and still operating at the whim of his hormones. When he’d nominated Kurapika, she’d accepted without question. This had been the right choice: the reticent conjurer was an unbelievable asset to the Zodiacs. His cautious, mistrusting mind had saved them from disaster within days of his joining the Council. She couldn’t imagine how the two had become friends, but she did not want to see any further developments between them while she relied on their dedication to the Zodiac team. It wasn’t that she expected Kurapika to fall for _Leorio_ of all people. Like most others who encountered him, she assumed the Kurta was disgusted by trivial things such as romance. Her mentee, however, had caused enough ruckus among the younger nurses at his latest placement that she couldn’t trust he wasn’t just getting started with trying to seduce the other council-members. “You—you can’t just try to DISTRACT our most EFFECTIVE MEMBER by, by, FLIRTING WITH HIM?!”

Leorio tried to morph his grin into an expression of demure obedience. “Dr. Yorkshire, I hope you can forgive my foolishness. I only wanted to get some laughs, cause everyone’s always so tense in there! Nothing was meant to be flirtatious; I wouldn’t dare.” He cleared his throat, swallowing a smile as he continued. “I promise, I won’t do anything to irritate him any further. He won’t leave on my account, if that’s what worries you.” 

Although he knew why he couldn’t say anything more, keeping his relationship with Kurapika a secret was eating away at him. He wanted nothing more than to tell the whole world how much he loved the blonde man. He especially wished he could confide in Cheadle: for all his teasing, he greatly respected his mentor and valued her input. They’d shared many horrible experiences, but they’d also been able to celebrate successes together, her pride in his accomplishments filling him with unprecedented admiration. Her blessing would mean the world to Leorio, but he had to steer clear of any indication that his relationship with Kurapika was more than platonic on either side. 

Cheadle sighed angrily and adjusted her cap. “I should’ve known that Ging’s replacement would make a mockery of decorum, just like him,” she snipped. She knew very well that comparing Leorio to Ging would aggravate him as much as his disrespect irritated her. A nonsensical comparison, of course. This was a calculated ploy intended to put an end to any further attempts at flirting between members of the Council. She incorrectly assumed that Leorio was only picking on Kurapika this time around, that he would continue to poke at or even openly attempt to seduce other members if given the chance. 

The Boar straightened up, his eyes dimming under a cloud of anger. “I am nothing like that bastard,” he spat, “and you know it.” His fist shook around the handle of his briefcase. Being reprimanded was one thing; being compared to Gon’s neglectful father was another thing entirely. After all, he owed his spot on the Council to his confrontation of the Ruins Hunter during the election a few years back. Even while juggling the responsibilities of the medical bay he’d made time to call Gon at least once a week, hoping to set a better example for the boy. 

“Then start acting like it,” Cheadle said firmly. Her nose had straightened back out and she calmly smoothed her dress. “Well, then, Leorio, now that we’ve settled that I think we should arrange for those results to be sent back to the presidents as soon as possible. Also, have you begun studying for your exams yet? You know they’re only a few months away.” 

“Yes, yes, of course I have, Doc. There’s nothing to worry about—I did have a question about the latest survey, however...” The pair traveled down the hall, easily shifting back to their shared passion. They were just about to get on an elevator when Leorio felt his phone buzz in a set pattern. Kurapika’s ringtone. He couldn’t hide his grin.

“Is something funny?,” Cheadle asked.

Leorio shook his head and tried to stifle a giddy laugh. “No, I’m just getting a call—I think it’s Gon. I’ll catch ya later, Cheadle!” 

The Chairwoman frowned as her student bounced away. “He’s up to something,” she muttered. 

⛓❤️⛓: 3rd floor r342

👨🏻⚕️💸: hahahaha knew you couldn’t resist

⛓❤️⛓: Don’t get any ideas, I just want to talk to you. 

👨🏻⚕️💸: 🥳🥳🥳

Leorio whistled cheerfully as he strode towards the office. The third floor was entirely loaner spaces, mainly conference rooms for industry conventions and rental offices for temp hunters. In this particular wing, a room could be reserved for a few hours simply by flipping a sign to indicate it was in use. The tall man’s grin grew wider as he passed cobwebbed door after cobwebbed door marked “Vacant.” _Just wanna talk, huh? Then why pick an abandoned hallway? I wonder when he thought of this. Definitely before today. Little tease fantasizes about me more than he’ll ever admit!_ He stopped in front of a door that had been carefully wiped clean. The placard had been replaced by a clean sheet of paper. “IN USE” was printed neatly in familiar handwriting. He knocked softly as he opened the door. 

“Pardon, I’m looking for a certain handsome blonde, he’s very responsible and focused, is there anyone like that around here?” he drawled. Kurapika was sitting on an old leather office chair, glaring at him. 

“Will you cut it out,” he said sternly, “we have jobs to do, you know.” 

Leorio stepped across the room and placed his briefcase on the desk. He dropped to his knees and crawled towards Kurapika. “Oh, no, oh my,” he gasped dramatically, “am I in trouble? Oh, dear, whatever you do, please, don’t chain me down and use me however you wish! Oh, dear me! Oh, the horrors,” he teased, playfully kissing the blonde’s knees. He received a quick kick in the chest and fell over laughing.

“You are VILE!,” Kurapika squeaked, trying to suppress his own laughter. “Get ahold of yourself, Leorio!!” He squealed as the tall man grabbed his legs and dragged him from the chair. “LET GO OF ME!!” 

Leorio just grinned as he pushed up to his hands and knees, pinning his friend underneath his weight. “I just couldn’t help myself,” he chuckled, “You looked so serious, and the light made your hair all glowy, and that determination in your eyes reminded me of the way you look when you’re trying to fit my—“ he was cut off by Kurapika freeing a hand and smacking him across the face. 

“LEORIO!!,” he shrieked, “What on EARTH has gotten into you today?!” 

The student beamed down at him as he rubbed his smarting cheek. He murmured, “You’re just so beautiful, Kurapika. I hope you’re not too upset with me. Can I at least get a kiss?” 

The blonde blushed, smiling in spite of himself. “Fine,” he whispered, “but I’m still upset.” 

Leorio shouted gleefully and sat back, pulling him into a deep kiss. Kurapika sighed softly as he felt a strong hand weave through his hair. He pulled away. 

“That’s enough, Leorio.” Their foreheads were still pressed together, legs awkwardly splayed across the ground. Leorio pouted as the Kurta stood up and smoothed his tunic. 

“Aww, come on, Pika. You didn’t have me come all this way just for a kiss, didja?” 

“I certainly did not. I had you come all this way so I could tell you what an idiot you are. I was sitting next to Pyon, for heaven’s sakes—what if you had grabbed her instead??”

“But I didn’t,” Leorio smirked. “I have very good aim.” 

“Well, she noticed, and what’s worse is she told Kanzai, of all people! You know he can’t keep his mouth shut. We—“ Kurapika’s voice wavered. “We agreed, Leorio,” he said angrily. “Nobody else can know.” 

Leorio sighed and got up. “Yeah, I know. I handled Cheadle.” He took Kurapika’s hands. “I am sorry, Kurapika. I really didn’t think it through.”

“Obviously.” 

“You know, Cheadle just thought I was harassing you. I’m sure the others did too.”

Kurapika snorted. “Well, you were, and you’re wrong. Pyon immediately assumed we’ve been sleeping together.”

“Mmm.” Leorio brought his friend’s hands to his lips again. “We sure have been,” he said with a wink, running his tongue along one of Kurapika’s chains. 

The blonde cleared his throat, trying to keep himself on track. “Leorio, really. Don’t do that again, please?” 

“I won’t,” Leorio promised. “Really, Pika. I swear. Wrong place, wrong time. I get it.” 

“Exactly,” Kurapika said. His cheeks started to turn pink as he whispered, “I will admit it’s a great use of your technique.” 

“I knew you liked it a little bit,” the tall man leered. He sat back on the desk, pulling the blonde closer. 

“I can’t believe I’m letting you get away with this,” Kurapika murmured, kissing him anyways. He could feel Leorio smiling and noticed the way this made his heart speed up. He’d been trying to work up the nerve to end their little fling for the last week, afraid they were letting things go too far. Their sexual encounters had grown more frequent. Kurapika tried to avoid having Leorio sleep in his apartment, but that had been happening more often, too, waking up to gentle touches and smiling eyes. He needed to break it off before the relationship grew serious. But he couldn’t resist Leorio. The tall student made him feel emotions he hadn’t considered possible, a desire far more powerful than he’d felt with any of his other hookups. Kurapika kissed him more forcefully, parting his lips with his tongue.

Leorio sighed softly into the blonde’s mouth. He pulled the small figure closer, enjoying the way the other man melted against him. His hand slid underneath the bright tunic. Kurapika pulled back and smiled at him, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear.

“What do you think you’re doing?,” he whispered. 

“Touching my boyfriend,” Leorio teased.

“That joke gets less funny each time,” Kurapika groaned. 

Leorio had been invited to a medical school gala a few months earlier and, needing a date, persuaded Kurapika to be his plus one. As friends, of course. When they got there, one of the professors had drunkenly grabbed the Kurta’s shoulders mid-conversation and declared, “Paradinight, you didn’t say you had such a cute boyfriend!” Leorio had burst out laughing and corrected her, but the faculty had teased them about it for the rest of the night. Kurapika found the whole thing absurd, but his friend had encouraged the jokes by touching his arms, holding his hands, leaning on him during conversations. At the end of the night, the singer had told all the couples to come out for a slow song, and Leorio had leapt up immediately. He would do anything for a bit, especially if it annoyed Kurapika. The blonde had hoped to ruin his fun by taking it a step further. When Leorio dipped him as a grand finale, Kurapika grabbed his tie and pulled him in for a rough kiss. It was their first. Leorio had dropped him in his shock, but he pulled Kurapika into an empty classroom as soon as the music ended. 

“I’m sorry for messing around,” he’d said, “I should’ve done this instead.” 

He’d picked him up and kissed him again, and Kurapika had been shocked to find himself kissing him back. That first time, they’d stopped at kissing, both freaking out as soon as they realized what they were doing. Leorio still teasingly called Kurapika his boyfriend every so often. The blonde thought it was just a joke, but Leorio had gone along with it in the first place because he wished it was true. Every time he said it, it got harder to hear Kurapika dismissing the word. 

Leorio forced a laugh. “Alright, fine, I’ll get a new joke soon. But are we gonna do anything in here or what?” 

Kurapika glanced back at the office door. “Well,” he murmured, “I have been keeping tabs on this hallway as a possibility for a few weeks now. I suppose we should be fine here.” 

Leorio rolled his eyes. “Geez, tone down the excitement, Pika. You can just tell me if you’d rather not.” 

“Oh no, I definitely want to,” the blonde purred, leaning in to kiss him again. He bit down on Leorio’s lip before pulling away. “Lock the door.”


	2. Swallow the Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leorio and Kurapika hook up in the Zodiac building, but it ends in an argument. And then something terrible happens.

Leorio sat in the chair, his head rolled towards the ceiling. “Fuck,” he whispered as his hips twitched upwards. He looked down, adjusting his grip in Kurapika’s hair. The blonde’s mouth was sliding back and forth, inching a bit closer to Leorio’s zipper with each bob of his head. 

Kurapika glanced up at him and pulled back slowly, letting his hand take over. He smiled up at his friend, a shimmering trail of saliva connecting them. “Can I move these?”

Leorio shoved his pants down quickly, letting the smaller man pull them the rest of the way. His breath hitched as he felt the tongue circling between his legs. “Oh shit,” he mumbled as a cold, slick finger slipped inside him. The pressure made his hips jump again, sending him right back into Kurapika’s mouth. “Kurapika, fuck,” he groaned, clutching his head tighter. 

“Mmmph.” 

“I love watching, you play with, yourself,” Leorio panted, “while you’re doing this. Don’t you, unnnghhh, want me, to fuck you?”

“Mmhmm.” Kurapika squeaked as Leorio yanked him back by the hair, pulling him up.

“Well, Pika, if you keep this up I’ll be done for soon. Turn around.” 

The blonde gasped softly when Leorio’s mouth spread his legs, biting back a louder sound as he felt a large hand reach between them to take hold of him. After a few minutes, the tall man pulled back and smacked him, hard, making him jump forward with a squeal. Just as he inhaled he was squealing again, a lube-coated finger pushing its way inside him with ease. “Leorio,” he breathed, “yes.” His friend chuckled and carefully added another finger. Kurapika groaned loudly and arched his back, rocking against the building pressure. The student’s hands were huge, but he knew they didn’t compare to what was soon to come. Leorio smirked as he watched the blonde slowly fucking himself on his fingers. He spread them apart patiently, keeping his eyes on Kurapika’s face to gauge how much he could take at a time. The Kurta had his eyes screwed shut. He bit down hard on his lip as the hand pushed deeper into him. His eyes flew open as Leorio’s other hand reached around again, cupping one of his breasts and gently tweaking his nipple. “Oh,” he sighed. Leorio smirked and bent down to kiss his shoulder. Kurapika twisted his neck as far as it would go to kiss him as deeply as he could manage. He could feel his friend’s erection grinding against his thighs. “Leorio, please,” he whined softly, “please fuck me.” The tall man grinned and slowly removed his fingers. He smacked Kurapika’s ass again, loving how the small blonde squeaked as he clutched the desk. 

Leorio groaned as he pushed into his friend. Kurapika let out a low whine and arched his back, trying to adjust to the size of the other man inside him. “Fuck, Pika,” Leorio breathed, placing a hand across the small of his back to steady him. “God, yes.” He gave the blonde a quick slap again, earning a delighted moan. They always had to move slowly at first. Leorio secretly wished they could spend all day exploring each other, but they were usually meeting in bathrooms and alleys and unused spaces like this one, rushing through the motions so they didn’t get caught. Kurapika moaned his name and he remembered the first time they’d had sex. 

It was two weeks after the kiss at the gala. Leorio had originally intended to stay in town for two days, but he’d run into Zepile, who was looking for a roommate. A professor at the school asked him to stay in Yorknew for a year, so Leorio decided to move into the city. He’d called Kurapika as soon as he signed the lease, telling him they lived along the same metro line. Kurapika hung up in a panic. Leorio called him a few more times but gave up on it until Biscuit came into town and invited him to, in her words, “a real party.” It was the unveiling of a spectacular peacock opal, hosted in an old lighthouse on the far edge of the island. In the enormous crowd, Leorio only saw Kurapika. Just the back of his head between shoulders far across the room but, nonetheless, _Kurapika_ , moving slowly towards the exit as the curtain unrolled. He remembered feeling very frightened as he made his way down the stairs after his old friend. Kurapika had turned when Leorio called his name and Leorio’s breath had stopped at the sight of the smile pricking the corners of his mouth and the light on his earring and the fluid motion of his hand rising up for a casual wave. He apologized for ignoring Leorio’s calls and agreed to stay for a few drinks. They drunkenly climbed to the top of the lighthouse and lay there giggling until Kurapika rolled over, grabbed Leorio’s tie, and tugged him into a kiss. All Leorio remembered seeing was the moon illuminating Kurapika’s hair as he carefully pushed into him for the first time, hearing his low moan of desire whip away into the salty night sky. Kurapika had bitten back most of his sounds but right as he came he’d cried “oh, yes, Leorio,” the sound of his name sending a shockwave through Leorio’s body. 

Even after hearing Kurapika moaning his name so many times it sent a thrill up Leorio’s spine. He grunted as his hips thrust forward harder, causing the blonde to emit a soft whimper.

“Mhm,” Kurapika nodded. He knew he could take more but he didn’t want to disrupt Leorio’s warm hands slowly exploring his body. Fingers traced his spine and massaged his nipples as palms spread him apart and caressed him. Leorio leaned down to kiss his neck, holding his body close as he fucked him slowly. Kurapika whimpered again as he felt the pressure reaching deeper inside him. “M-more,” he gasped, rocking his hips back. 

Leorio chuckled and continued his leisurely pace. “Say something, Pika?,” he teased, “I couldn’t hear you.” 

“More, more,” Kurapika moaned.

“More what?,” Leorio whispered in his ear, pushing in deeper. 

“Ohhh, God!,” the blonde cried. 

“Tell me what you want,” the tall man commanded in a low voice. He pulled almost all the way out and slowly plunged as far in as he dared.

“Leorio, fuck,” Kurapika moaned loudly, “p-please, I want you!” 

Leorio grunted and took a fistful of his hair. “You want me what, Pika?” 

“Fuck me, h-harder, Leorio, yes!” Kurapika let out a wild shout as the tall man yanked his hair backwards and slammed into him. Leorio’s grunting took on a steady rhythm as he thrust his hips, closing his eyes in ecstasy. Blonde hair slipped between his fingers and his hand slid slowly down the pale spine, pressing it back down to the table and earning an impassioned groan. His hips seemed to speed up on their own, the increasing pace producing delightful yips of pleasure.

Leorio was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to see Kurapika’s face. “P-Pika,” he grunted, “on your back.” The blonde twisted around clumsily, trying and failing to do so without separating their bodies. Leorio leaned down to kiss him, lifting him further up onto the desk as he did so. Without breaking the kiss, he pushed himself back in. Kurapika bit down on his lip to stifle his shriek. Leorio attacked his neck as he plunged in and out as forcefully as he could. Happy groans filled the room. The tall man stood up and pulled Kurapika’s lean legs into the air, using the increased leverage to slam their bodies together over and over. A large hand slid between Kurapika’s thighs and fingers slipped into his dripping cunt and he moaned, taking one of his wrists into his mouth to cut off his pleas before they could escape. “Kurapika,” Leorio groaned, “look at me.” 

“Mmhmmph?,” the blonde whined through his self-imposed gag. 

“I want,” Leorio panted, “to see, your face, when I make you cum.” 

“Ohhh, fuck,” Kurapika mewled, dropping his arm away to grasp at one of Leorio’s hands. His tall partner leaned over to kiss him again and he pushed himself up, whimpering greedily into his mouth. 

Leorio knocked him back down and growled, “you’re so fuckin pretty, fuck.” 

Kurapika’s eyes fluttered as his friend’s deliberate movements brought him over the edge, babbling his name while he kept going. The tall man fell atop him and kissed him sloppily as his own eyes squeezed shut. 

“Pika, god,” he panted, “I love fucking you, I love, fuck, you, ohhh fuck, I love you,” the last few words disappearing into the Kurta’s mouth as he finished inside him. They kissed passionately, wrapped around each other in a sweaty, sticky heap of ecstasy. Leorio finally pulled back with a groan and collapsed into the chair. “God damn,” he whistled.

Kurapika summoned his remaining strength to sit up on his elbows again, staring at the tall, lean man spread out before him. He fumbled in Leorio’s briefcase for a towel and wiped himself off before laying back down across the desk. 

“Leorio,” he said softly, “we have to stop doing this.” He winced as he heard the chair creak sharply.

“No we don’t,” Leorio blurted, “nobody will find out, I swear, Pika.” 

Kurapika closed his eyes and dragged his hands down his face. He sighed. “You just said you loved me,” he whispered. “I know you didn’t mean it, but it’s still dangerous.” 

“I- uhhhhh,” Leorio said, sitting back as he rubbed his head in embarrassment. 

“You know as well as I do that this is could never be serious,” Kurapika continued, “and I think we are coming too close to getting... attached.” He sat up and slid off the desk, slowly putting on his clothes. “So, we should end this now, before we let things go too far.” 

“Well, shit, Kurapika,” Leorio said quietly. “Don’t you think this is a bit of an overreaction? I didn’t mean—“ 

“No, I’ve been thinking about this—“ 

“to scare you off, it’s not a big—“

“and you’ve been pushing the limits of, whatever this is—“ 

“deal, and we’re having fun, I haven’t pressured you to make it serious—“ 

“getting too emotional, I mean, always trying to spend time with me—“ 

“but, um, I won’t tease you in public again, if that’s—“ 

“and you don’t even date men, it’s all the novelty, warping—“ 

“Wow, asshole, will you just shut the fuck up?” Leorio interrupted. 

Kurapika turned to look at him, folding his arms. 

“You’re thinking too much, Pika. If you really want to stop sleeping together, fine. But I think this is a real shitty way to say so.” The student slammed his briefcase shut and straightened his tie. His clothes rarely came all the way off during their trysts. “Stop trying to blame me just because you’re scared,” he snapped. 

“Leorio, I’m not—“ but he was out the door, leaving it open as he strode down the hall. 

Kurapika sighed and walked calmly after him. “Leorio,” he called, “you’re only proving my point.” His friend waved his arm dismissively and walked faster. The Kurta winced as he watched him receding. His chest hurt. “Leorio,” he whispered to himself. _I didn’t mean we had to stop today, necessarily. I just wanted to clarify that this couldn’t last much longer. Damn. I knew this was a bad idea from the start, I just had to go and sleep with him. I thought he would agree that we had to go back to just friends. Colleagues, really. This is unfortunate. He’s much more upset than I expected. Perhaps I should apologize? I feel... so much worse now. Why? I wanted to break things off, so why do I feel like crying at the idea that we’ll never kiss again? Fuck, I’m in too deep. This is exactly why we have to stop. I have to stay firm on this, no matter how handsome and seductive he is. God damn it, I can’t think like that. Am I wrong about his feelings for me? It doesn’t matter.  
_

Kurapika decided to take the stairs, knowing that Leorio was unlikely to leave so quickly. Whenever the student was upset he could be found walking in circles, chain smoking and muttering angrily to himself. Kurapika stepped into the plaza in front of the Hunter Association building and spotted his tall friend’s hunched shoulders only a few yards away. He took a step forwards and froze. _Something’s not right. It shouldn’t be this crowded. Why do I sense bloodlust?_

His eyes went wide as he noticed subtle hand motions shared between six members of the crowd. Their guns were drawn as his feet began to move and he shouted, “LEORIO!” and his friend turned around looking shocked and then his chest erupted in blood and he staggered backwards and Kurapika was screaming as he ducked through the panicked stampede, screaming and running as everything moved in slow motion around him. A woman fell in front of him and he tripped over her, falling into a puddle of dirt and blood from so many strangers. Something painful grazed his arm as he scrambled towards Leorio’s limp body. He dragged him behind a trash can, his ears ringing with gunshots and cries and the laughter of cruel men, delighted by the chaos they’d caused. Kurapika tried to stand up but the gunmen were already gone, hunters pouring out of the building into the carnage spilled across the street. He felt for Leorio’s pulse and gasped with relief when he felt the faint heartbeat, shaking as he felt the familiar itch of his eyes going red behind his contacts. The chain rattled out from his thumb and wrapped slowly around Leorio’s chest. “Please work,” he sobbed, to nothing in particular, watching the wounds shrink away under his aura. 

Leorio groaned and opened his eyes. Kurapika screamed and threw his arms around him, holding him tightly as he cried. “W-what,” Leorio stammered, but the blonde clutched his face and kissed him, the force slamming his head against the trash can. 

“Oh, thank god, Leorio,” Kurapika whispered before kissing him again. 

Leorio felt a lump rise in his throat and shoved Kurapika away, wiping his mouth angrily. “What the hell, Kurapika,” he snarled. 

The Kurta looked around in a panic. “I- I- you could’ve died!” he yelped. Leorio’s anger startled him back to reality and he dragged a sleeve across his tear-stained face. People were moaning on the bloodstained plaza as ambulances wailed towards them. He could see Cheadle flitting between bodies and dressing wounds as others used whatever vague healing powers they possessed to prolong lives. 

Leorio rubbed his aching chest, shaking his head in confusion. “Well, thanks,” he mumbled, “I—I should help.” He tried to stand and gasped in pain. Kurapika hadn’t noticed the bullet lodged in his left knee and he sank back to the ground, clutching it awkwardly. “Fuck,” he gasped, “these aren’t normal bullets, Pika. Tell her.” He waved his arm vaguely. The Kurta just stared at him, completely numb. “You’re no help,” Leorio muttered. “CHEADLE!” he called, “THEY EXPAND—FUCK!” He grit his teeth in agony as the thing in his knee twisted itself deeper, the wound stretching further and gushing blood. He dug his fingers inside his own leg with a grimace. Kurapika still couldn’t move. Leorio screamed as he grabbed the projectile and ripped it from his bone, flinging it across the courtyard where it exploded against the brick. He collapsed, his breathing shallow and painful. Cheadle appeared next to them and shook him, but he was out cold. 

She turned to Kurapika. “Did you see what happened?! Can’t you heal people?!” He looked at her blankly. She slapped him, hard. “MOVE,” she shrieked, and he jumped up, dashing around to help as many people as he could. Another spat of gunfire rang out a few blocks away and a building burst into flames. A man died screaming as the bullet exploded inside his stomach, spraying viscera across a pile of other torn-up corpses. Kurapika remembered vomiting before his head hit the ground. 


	3. Insult to Injury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika visits Leorio in the hospital in the wake of the bombing.

Leorio was arguing with his doctor when Kurapika walked in. “I could be helping people,” he shouted, “just give me a crutch, for God’s sake!” 

“We can’t let you move around without knowing how the damn things work,” the doctor snapped in frustration. “We don’t know if your damn leg will fall off, and we certainly can’t spare a surgeon to fix it right now!” 

Kurapika coughed lightly. “I, um, I could probably heal it,” he stammered. 

Leorio shook his head. “You’re too drained already,” he said firmly, “you won’t stop until you get yourself killed.” 

The doctor frowned. “If you can heal people, why the hell wouldn’t you?!” 

“No,” Leorio said angrily. “It eats away at his own life. The hospital should be able to handle it, just—“ he winced as he shifted his weight, “just fucking get the goddamn bullets out and dispose of them carefully. They’re rigged to explode.” 

“Leorio, really,” Kurapika started, but his friend cut him off with a sharp glare. 

“I said no, Kurapika. The doctors can handle this. And I can help.” He shoved himself off the bed and hopped on his good leg, gasping in pain as he leaned against the bed frame. 

“Sit the hell down, kid,” the doctor commanded, “we can do this without you.” 

“Fuck,” Leorio exclaimed, “this shit fucking hurts.” He sat down heavily on the bed. “I’ll kill those bastards,” he muttered. 

“Good,” the doctor said as she walked out. “In the meantime, just get some rest.” 

“Yes,” Kurapika chimed in. “You need to calm down, Leorio, you’ll only hurt yourself more. I know you can take them on, but you have to wait, please.” He reached for Leorio’s hand but his friend pulled it away. 

The doctor paused at the door to look back at them. “You should listen to your boyfriend,” she said quietly, “they say love helps you heal faster.” 

“Oh, we’re not—“ Kurapika stammered, but she was already gone. Leorio slumped back against the pillows and stared at him. 

“Why are you even here?” He demanded. 

Kurapika blinked. “I- what do you mean?! You’re my friend, Leorio, I- I watched—“

“Yeah, thanks for your help, I guess. Are you forgetting you didn’t want to see me anymore?” Leorio was shaking with anger. He chose to embrace his rage; it was easier to deal with than confronting the sharp pain in his heart or the overwhelming desire to kiss Kurapika again.  _ He just feels guilty. I can’t believe he kissed me after all of his stupid protests. _

“I didn’t say that, Leorio,” Kurapika said shakily. “I just—I just said we should just be friends.”

“Yeah, and I said it was fine, and then you kissed me, idiot.”

“I know. I had to.”

Leorio took a deep breath. “What does that mean?”

“It just means I had to. The first thing I thought when I realized what was happening was that I was a complete idiot for trying to push you away, that I—I was so afraid of losing you.” Kurapika tried to ignore the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he stared into his friend’s dark glare. 

“Yeah, okay. Look, I—“ Leorio shook his head slowly and sank lower into the bed. “I need to get some sleep,” he muttered. “You should go.”

Kurapika clenched his hands in his lap. “Oh,” he said quietly. Leorio shut his eyes and tugged at his blankets, wincing as they grazed his bandaged kneecap. “Leorio, I—“ 

“Fine, stay. Whatever. Just don’t talk to me for a while, alright?” 

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Tch.” 

Kurapika let the lump linger in his throat as he watched Leorio grind his teeth. He curled up in his chair and waited for the older man to succumb to the heavy dosage of pain medication, listening to his breathing slow into a steady rhythm. 

The sirens wailed through the night. Doctors were sobbing in the hallways whenever he stepped out for water. None of the phones were working and the air stank of rotting organs, stinging the throat with flecks of ash. Kurapika wandered to the maternity ward and numbly carried minuscule corpses in a sea of fluorescent lights. He watched the sun come up. The sky stayed red long after he knew it had turned blue and he saw his mother’s eyeless face hovering over nearly every limp bed he passed. He stepped out into the cold morning and walked to Leorio’s favorite coffee shop, trying not to think about what it would be like to speak to him again. The elevator at the hospital creaked from overuse. Leorio was still sleeping when Kurapika sank back into the chair. A distant scream jolted him awake. 

“Oh. Hey.”

“Hi.” Kurapika passed him the food as he slowly sat up. “I, um, food.” 

“Thank you.” Leorio ate a few bites and watched the Kurta’s restless hands. “I’m sorry for being an ass after you saved my life,” he said quietly. “You really hurt my feelings, Kurapika, and I felt like I was getting jerked around.” 

“I know. I am... sorry, Leorio. For confusing you.” 

“I’m not the one who’s confused.” 

Kurapika frowned and looked away. 

“Kurapika,” Leorio said. “Look at me, please.” 

The blonde inhaled deeply before complying. “Do you really want to stop seeing each other?,” Leorio asked softly. 

Kurapika swallowed. “Well, we’re not exactly, um, we’re just sleeping together sometimes.” 

“But you care about me more than you meant to.” 

“I couldn’t lose such a... dear friend. I realize that kissing you was inappropriate.” 

“Kurapika, you haven’t consistently spent time with me since we were forced to during the exam. If this was a reckless mistake, you would’ve disappeared without saying anything as soon as I moved in with Zepile. I think you want to be with me.” 

Kurapika blushed and looked at the floor. “It’s—my feelings aren’t important,” he stammered. 

Leorio reached for his hands. “Can I tell you what I think?” 

“Oh, no,” Kurapika whispered. 

“I wish I hadn’t said that yesterday. It wasn’t the time or the place. I’m not sure this is, either, but I want you to listen to me. Pika, I’m in love with you. I want to be—“

“No,” Kurapika moaned. 

“Around you. Being with you has always been wonderful. Not just the sex, everything. Always made me feel more, I dunno, alive. You inspire me, Kurapika. I‘m happiest spending time with you. We should—“

“Please, Leorio, we can’t.”

“Why not?,” Leorio demanded. “I really like you, and I know you feel the same, even if you won’t admit it.”

“My feelings aren’t important,” Kurapika sighed. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” 

Leorio grit his teeth. “If it makes you feel better, you wouldn’t be my first boyfriend, asshole.” 

“Oh.” Kurapika turned pink. “Still... I’ll just ruin it. My life... I don’t have room for... anything good.” He drew his hands back. “I’m sorry, Leorio,” he whispered. 

“Don’t you dare walk away, Kurapika.” Leorio’s voice cracked slightly and he blinked back tears. “Please, just tell me I’m right. I  _ love _ you. Don’t you feel—“

“No,” Kurapika lied. He stood up and stumbled towards the door. “No, I don’t. I can’t.” He sank to the floor in the hallway, listening to his friend sobbing through the walls. “I don’t have a choice,” he mumbled to himself. 

“Kurapika, hey,” a familiar voice called. 

“My god, where did you come from?!” the Kurta gasped. Killua was walking towards him leisurely, eating a lollipop. The teen was much taller than he’d been when they’d last seen each other— _what, three years, maybe?_ Kurapika wondered—but he clearly hadn’t picked up a hairbrush since then.

“Heard the old man got hit,” Killua joked. “Gon’s on his way, too. Morel called us. We’re supposed to help find the bastards.” 

Kurapika wiped his eyes and stood up. “Leorio’s, um, not really—“

“Is he crying?,” Killua asked with wide eyes. He pushed past Kurapika and burst in. “Hey, you,” he said loudly. 

Leorio choked and sat up. “K-Killua?!,” he sniffled.

“Yeah, man. Why are you being such a wimp? It’s just a leg.” 

“The others pierced his lungs,” Kurapika mumbled behind him. 

“Oh. Still, that stuff seems healed. Don’t worry, man, we’ll get the fuckers.” 

Leorio gave a weak chuckle. “Yeah, of course. I was just, um.” He looked at Kurapika and looked away. “So many people are dead,” he sighed. “And I couldn’t help.” 

Killua shrugged. “That’s how it goes. So, what’s the plan? Peeks, you got anything?” 

“I, uh, no,” Kurapika stammered. “I just—“

“Ugh, I thought you were the smart one. Well, I’m sure Gon will have something crazy in mind. He can probably just sniff them out.” 

“Kurapika saw them,” Leorio said quietly. “Didn’t you?”

“I—don’t remember. They wore masks. I was, um, focused on helping, um, people.” The blonde stepped backwards into the hall. “I should—I should go find Cheadle, or someone.”

Killua grabbed his arm. “We should stay with our friend,” he argued. “They’ll call you when they need you.” He turned to Leorio. “Right, old man?” 

Leorio closed his eyes. “Let him leave,” he said quietly, “it’s all he’s good at.” 

Kurapika shook Killua off and stormed away, barely holding back his tears before melting down in the elevator. 

Killua sat next to Leorio and grabbed his head, twisting it to the side.

“What are you doing?,” the student grumbled. 

“Checking for needles,” Killua quipped, “cause you’re acting weird as hell.” He released his friend and crossed his arms. “Wanna fill me in?” 

Leorio sighed. “We just... got in an argument right before the attack. It’s nothing.”

“Didn’t he save your fucking life?! What more of an apology do you need?” Killua looked shocked.

“Um, he was... it came up again, right before you got here. It’s stupid.”

Killua snorted. “You should apologize.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, brat,” Leorio snapped. “He’s the one being an asshole, okay?! I’m just—whatever. Fuck off.” He leaned back into the bed and pulled a pillow over his face. “I can’t talk about him right now.” 

“Hmph. By the way, where’s that girl I met last time? Jessa? Tessa?” 

“Carla,” Leorio mumbled. “Forgot about her.”

“Oh. Well, what else is new? We should probably wait for Gon before we start planning.”

“Nothing’s new,” Leorio sighed. “You know me. Studying, drinking, sleeping, wasting my life, as always.” 

Killua chuckled. “You are quite a player. I even heard a rumor you slept with that bunny girl from the Zodiacs.”

“Not in a million years,” Leorio laughed. “It would, uh, be pretty stupid to try to fuck anyone from the Council.” His voice lowered as he pulled at a loose string on his blanket. “Just wouldn’t work,” he muttered. 

“Dude, are you okay? You’re still acting weird.” 

“Well, I was shot, you know.”

“Big deal. You survived. There’s something else.” 

“Nope.” 

Killua rolled his eyes. “Fine, be that way. I’m starving. Want anything?”

“Nah, the painkillers make it hard to eat. Thanks though.” Leorio stared at the bandages on his knee. Blood was soaking through them again. He swung his legs to the side and pushed up onto one foot, trying to hop towards the supply cabinet next to the door. He couldn’t feel his leg at all and would’ve collapsed had Killua not appeared next to him and shoved him back into the bed. 

“What the fuck, Leorio?!” 

“I just need to get the bandages. I can do it.” 

“Dude, your leg is seriously messed up. Just tell me what you need.” 

Leorio shook his head and tried to stand again. “I need... ugh. I need to walk as soon... fuck. As soon as possible,” he muttered through clenched teeth. He hopped down the side of the bed slowly but couldn’t take a step further, sinking onto the plastic mattress with a defeated sigh. “DAMMIT!” He screamed suddenly. 

Killua stared at him. “If I were you, what would you say to me right now?”

“Oh, I’d have you chained to the bed with your leg elevated. But I’m fine. I have to be.” 

“Shut up, man,” Killua groaned, tossing him the replacement bandages. “Don’t fucking kill yourself while I’m out, alright?”

Leorio just grunted and started redressing his wound. The boy rolled his eyes and left. 


	4. Blockade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika and Leorio are assigned to work on the interrogations together. Another attack rocks the city.

“No, Botobai. He’s a victim. We can’t let him join the team.” Kurapika stood in the dragon’s private offices with Mizaistom and one of his students. 

The student coughed lightly. “Um, actually, I was also shot. I can’t use my right arm yet.” She lifted her sleeve to show a plaster cast. “The professor said it was okay.” 

She gave Mizaistom a nervous look and he nodded. “Phaedra’s abilities should be very useful. Normally, I wouldn’t want a victim on the detection team, but when I spoke to Leorio last night, it was clear he already had a better understanding of the enemy’s power than anyone. We need him.” 

Kurapika clenched his fists. “He can’t even walk yet.” 

“That’s fine for now,” Botobai said calmly. “We’ll need someone to run the computers while you scan the suspects through the screens.” 

“Mizai, why can’t you do it?,” Kurapika demanded. 

“I’ll be meeting with the local law enforcement to see what they’ve learned. Botobai will be interrogating.” 

Kurapika forced the air in and out of his lungs. “Why not another hunter. Killua—or, perhaps Izunavi, I could contact him—“ 

“No, we can’t entrust this to just anyone,” Mizaistom said, “I trust Leorio.” 

“I do as well,” Botobai nodded. 

Kurapika sighed. “He won’t agree to this. We don’t... work well together.” 

“Look, Rat,” Botobai thundered, “we don’t have time to waste on interpersonal quibbles. We start as soon as Boar is awake.” He addressed his colleagues by their Zodiac titles whenever he felt threatened. 

Kurapika couldn’t stop himself from glaring. “Call him, then. He’s been up for a few hours.” He turned and left the room, trying to hide his distress. He went back to the hospital and stared up at it, trying to imagine what he might say. He’d spoken to a few underworld connections in an attempt to narrow down the suspects, but nothing came up. 

“Yo. Kurapika.” Killua was walking up to him, carrying his skateboard. “Do you know what’s wrong with Leorio?”

“His kneecap is shattered, as is the top of his tibia.” 

The teen snorted. “No, idiot, I meant why you guys are arguing. And why he’s acting so weird.”

“Ah.” Kurapika looked away. “That’s... none of your concern. We have another assignment from the Zodiacs.” 

Leorio threw his phone across the room. “God DAMN IT!!” he shouted. He slumped into his pillows and tried not to think about how much time he would now be spending with Kurapika. “FUCK,” he exclaimed again, punching the side of the bed. The metal tore away and he sighed. “Where the hell is Killua,” he muttered.  _ They really can’t put anyone else on the fucking computer?! As soon as I can walk I need to be treating patients. Hell, as soon as I can get a goddamn stick I’ll be able to at least make the rounds. I’m not just Kurapika’s fucking sidekick. I’ve felt these things, dammit. _ The elevator chimed and he shouted angrily again. 

Killua burst in as the IV crashed through the window. “Whoa, what the fuck?!” He yelled, jumping back into the hallway. “Can I get a FUCKING DOCTOR?” he screamed. Leorio groaned and slid to the floor. 

When he woke up, Kurapika and Mizaistom were setting up a desk next to his bed. “Oh, fuck off,” he snarled. The older Zodiac jumped slightly and turned towards him. 

“I see you’re awake, then? We’ll need you to log in now.” 

“Why can’t you just let me rest, Mizaistom?!”

“There’s nobody else.” 

“I really don’t see why your student couldn’t help here,” Kurapika pleaded. 

“We’ve been over this!” Mizaistom shouted. “This isn’t up for discussion any longer. Phaedra’s ability is crucial for us right now, she can protect anyone in a ten-meter radius. Based on how Kurapika’s dowsing works, I’m hopeful that your faint memories of the event may help influence our investigation. You were there together, so I think that will help.” 

Leorio scoffed. “This is fucking stupid,” he grumbled. 

Mizaistom shook his head firmly and made his way towards the door. “We are counting on you two. Leorio, this behavior isn’t becoming.” He left, slamming the door behind him. 

“I don’t want to be here, either,” Kurapika muttered. “Let’s just—“

“Yeah.” Leorio dragged the computer onto his lap and logged in. “There.” He shoved it back.

“No, you’ll need to hold it,” Kurapika said quietly. “We also have about a half hour before they actually start.”

“Well then why are you here?”

“Nowhere else to be.”

Leorio looked away. “You could wait in the hall.”

“Yes. I could.” Kurapika stood up, then turned to look at him. “You threw your goddamn IV out the window to avoid me?!” he seethed. 

“It was mostly saline anyways,” Leorio mumbled. 

“You could have been seriously hurt. What the hell is wrong with you?! You’re acting like a child.” 

“Fuck off, Pika, I’m allowed to be upset.” 

“And I’m not?” 

“You’ve been jerking me around like-like—god dammit, all I can think of is a dog on a chain, you stupid bastard. You want me to leave, you can’t lose me, you have to leave, whatever whatever, I’m fucking exhausted.” Leorio turned as far as he could without moving his injured leg. 

Kurapika sighed heavily. “I’ve been perfectly clear: we can’t be together. That’s all. I apologize for any remaining confusion.”

“Can’t,” Leorio scoffed. “Why do you always have to talk like a fucking robot? Let me be perfectly clear: I don’t...” his stern tone wobbled a bit and he cleared his throat. “I don’t think we can be friends for a while. After we’re done with these interrogations, you don’t have to talk to me anymore. Just go back to, whatever you do,” he mumbled, waving his hand dismissively. 

“Leorio,” Kurapika said sadly.

“I know, it’s childish or whatever. I don’t care. Look, Kurapika, I’m in love with you. And you... don’t feel the same, I can... understand why.” Leorio took a deep breath. “It’s just kinda hard to be around you now that I know. I guess I was stupid. Thought I had a chance.” He pulled the computer monitor between them. “You don’t have to say anything.” 

Kurapika stood up and walked to the door. “Let me know when they’re ready,” he said quietly. 

————————

The interrogations didn’t provide any new information. Every suspect was a dead end telling the truth about their lack of involvement, not a single answer provoking movement from Kurapika’s dowsing chain. He and Leorio watched in silence except for a few brief communications about changing camera angles or stepping out for breaks. By 2 A.M, Kurapika was fading. He tried to hide it, hoping they could finish all the questioning in one night so that he could go home and get away from Leorio. Staying up the entire previous night was beginning to take its toll. He staggered slightly. 

“Can’t you do it sitting down?,” Leorio yawned. 

“I’m fine,” Kurapika responded. “I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.” 

Leorio started to say something but he was cut off by an explosion and he knocked Kurapika to the ground, exclaiming in pain as his wounded knee hit the floor. A chunk of glass shattered the laptop screen. Underneath the cracks, Mizaistom’s distorted figure leapt towards the door of the interrogation room. Gunfire sputtered beyond the blown-out window and they both just squeezed their eyes shut and waited for it to end. As the shooting ended abruptly the sirens started, wailing through the dark streets amidst towering flames. 

“What the actual fuck,” Leorio gasped as he sat up. 

Kurapika’s phone rang. 

“We have to blockade the hospital,” Botobai yelled. 

“What can we do?!” 

“Nothing for now. We can’t get you out. The bridge is down.” He hung up and Kurapika just stared at the phone. Leorio was pulling himself into the bed for a better view of the window, groaning as he struggled with his leg. 

“I’ll need a new room,” he mumbled. 

Kurapika argued with the floor administrator for about ten minutes before snatching a key to the underused psychiatric ward. Leorio wasn’t the only patient whose room was no longer safe and the hospital was already low on beds, so they crammed into a far elevator with him in a wheelchair. He protested that he should be helping the entire way to the room, but he was ignored. 

“Can you sleep like this for tonight?” the harried nurse demanded. The room contained two unmade beds, an enormous plastic rocking chair, and two short bookshelves placed between the beds. “And you know where the sheets are?,” she addressed Kurapika.

“I—yes,” he stammered. 

“Get him some pillows,” she waved as she left. 

Leorio sighed and rolled to the shelves, taking the computer from his lap and setting it up there. Kurapika slipped out for the bedclothes. The other patients were trickling into the ward, whispering to their nurses about the squalid conditions. 

“It’s all we have left,” one snapped. 

The Kurta ducked back into the room and shut the door, only to discover it didn’t lock. Leorio stared glumly at the screened window. 

“We can’t see anything,” he sighed. 

Kurapika lifted the heavy rocking chair with ease and shoved it against the door. “Will you really be okay sleeping on such a flat surface?,” he asked nervously. 

“I’m fine,” Leorio said. He pushed himself up, balancing his weight against the shelf. “I can help you,” he hissed through clenched teeth. 

“Sit down,” Kurapika commanded. He made the beds quickly and sat down on his own, stifling a yawn. 

Leorio grunted and flung himself onto the bed with an agonized shout. “Oh, fuck, bad idea,” he moaned. 

“Obviously,” the blonde mumbled. He sank into the hard mattress, barely able to keep his eyes open. “I’m so tired,” he whispered. 

“Then sleep.” 

“Goodnight, Leorio.” 

“Yeah.” 

——————

Kurapika woke up first. He watched Leorio’s head turning restlessly as his legs twitched. It made him feel strangely lonely. “Leorio,” he said softly. “Leorio, wake up.” His friend just moaned in his sleep. Kurapika sighed. He dragged himself from the bed and gently shook Leorio’s arm. “Leorio, it’s just a dream.” The tall man shuddered and suddenly sat up with a snort, looking around wildly. 

“D-did we get em?,” he gasped. 

“Oh, um. Not yet.” 

“Damn.” Leorio sank back into the bed. “Any news?,” he asked. 

“I just woke up, but it doesn’t look like anyone has contacted us yet. I’ll... go get some food? And call.” 

“Sure.”

One of the suspects they were waiting to interview had died in the explosion. The rest of the Zodiacs were spread throughout the city, meeting with law enforcement, victims, witnesses, anyone who would speak to them. Kurapika’s underworld connections brought them to dead end after dead end. He was familiar with most of the weapons smugglers by now, and none of them had ever heard of the guns he struggled to describe. One of his contacts pointed out it was probably nen and he begrudgingly agreed. Leorio was on the phone with Gon and Killua when he returned to the room. Somebody had provided more pillows so he could sit upright. 

“I told you already, we aren’t allowed to—listen to me, guys—no, we can’t—LISTEN, DAMMIT!! I don’t KNOW what’s outside the hospital! We don’t even have a fucking WINDOW anymore!! We’re goddamn TRAPPED in here!” He paused to catch his breath, glaring at Kurapika. “No, it’s just the two of us. Ha. Yeah, no. I wish. Alright. Bye, guys.” He hung up with a loud groan. “Well? Are we doing anything, or what?” 

Kurapika sighed. “Not that I can tell. They’re not talking to any suspects today.” 

“Then what the fuck are we doing here?!” 

“Don’t ask me.” Kurapika sat on the bed, rubbing his face with his hands. 

Leorio grunted. “My leg doesn’t seem to be bleeding anymore. That puts it around 48 hours; obviously an anticoagulant involved. Fuck, I wonder how many are already dead.” 

“Three apartment buildings collapsed,” Kurapika whispered, “nearly everyone was still inside.” 

“Fuck,” Leorio said quietly. He grabbed an apple from his plate and flung it at the door with an angry shout. It broke right through, exploding into a mess of wet splinters. “We should be doing something!” he growled. 

The Kurta shrugged. “There’s nothing to do, Leorio.” 

“Maybe for you. I could be helping people.” 

“You can’t even stand.” 

“Whatever.” 

They stopped talking for a while. Kurapika struggled to focus on his book as Leorio played an obnoxiously loud phone game. 

“Can you at least turn the volume down?” 

Leorio grunted and complied. A doctor stopped by to check on him, ignoring his demands to be discharged. “If you put any weight on this right now, your whole lower leg will fracture,” she said calmly. “We’ve got everything under control.” 

In the hallway, she repeated herself to Kurapika, though he could tell she was lying about having everything under control. Somebody down the hall had died overnight and they were carried out uncovered. “We ran out of body bags,” one of the carriers said without any emotion. Kurapika shuddered and went back to Leorio’s room. 

Leorio was trying to sleep again, so Kurapika just sat in his bed and read for the time being. He fielded calls from their friends and colleagues, desperate to find any excuse to leave the hospital. Looking at Leorio was slowly driving him insane. He regretted everything he’d said since the Zodiac meeting but he knew it was too late to take any of it back.  _ What is there to say anyways? Being around you is one of the only things that brings me joy, but we can’t take our relationship any further. I’ll only destroy you. There’s no room for love in my life. You’re right, I’m afraid, and I’m blaming you. I can’t be with you. You think I’ll make you happy but I won’t, I’ll only drag you into my hell. I don’t have a reason to expect joy in my life. I expect to die young.  _ He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the back of Leorio’s slumbering head. Walking away was out of the question. He looked back at the page but the characters just swam before his eyes. 

By nightfall, Leorio was attempting to walk again. He refused Kurapika’s assistance, even as he collapsed over and over. The Kurta eventually left the room. When he returned, Leorio was sobbing on the ground. 

“Leorio! My god, are you alright?” 

The injured man tried to choke out an answer but he couldn’t stop his tears. Kurapika watched him, miserable, instinctively reaching for his hand. Leorio took it. He allowed the blonde to lift him into his bed and call a doctor. 

“I’m tired of sleeping on my back,” he said once they were alone. “I’m tired of all of this. I wish I could do something.”

“I know,” Kurapika whispered, “I don’t want to be here, either.” 

They both slept uneasily. Leorio was brought to surgery the next morning and he slept for the rest of the day. Kurapika argued with Pyon over the phone about how much she was involving Killua and Gon. They suspected the bullets could have been influenced by a man named Genthru they apparently met playing that video game. Kurapika disagreed. 

“These don’t seem to meet similar conditions to take effect. I’m also doubtful that an array of at least seven individuals could share the same power. Lastly, the bullets themselves are real enough.” 

Lab results kept coming back negative. The hospital was still half-buried under debris, an exterior wing already overflowing along the street. Kurapika brought Leorio around the hospital in his wheelchair until he had enough strength to roll himself. Even then, they walked together. After three days talking had become easier. They were on the first floor when the section of apartment building that had crushed the entrance was lifted into the air and tossed casually aside. Gon rushed in, the sight of him propelling Leorio up out of the chair onto his uninjured leg and just barely staying up until Gon picked him up in an emotional hug. 

Kurapika stared at the door. “We can go home,” he said quietly. 

“Oh. Yeah,” Leorio responded. 

Gon laughed. “We’re all meeting this afternoon at the Hunter Association. Ging might have some leads.” 

Leorio rolled his eyes. “Ugh, not that guy. Fine.”


	5. Searching and Not Finding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Zodiac Council and allies divide into teams to cover the city as they search for the bombers.

Cheadle looked exhausted. The evidence Ging presented pointed to Beyond Netero, but there wasn’t nearly enough information to do anything about the attacks yet. He also declared that he was only informing the Zodiacs because he was tired of watching them chasing their tails, not because he intended to actually help. He jabbed an accusatory finger at Saiyu, yelling, “You morons couldn’t even get rid of a traitor, how can I expect you to take on this scenario?” 

Saiyu rolled his eyes and Kurapika stepped in to defend him. “We dealt with that matter years ago, Ging, and you know that. If you don’t have anything else to say, let’s move on.” 

Ging huffed and sat down. “Fine, then,” he muttered, “the floor is yours, Madame President.” 

Cheadle glared at him as she stood up. “We have each experienced one of these attacks by now, so I’m sure you all understand the need for caution. We cannot afford another injury like Leorio’s. I have approved a handful of Hunters to assist in this investigation: Gon Freeccs, Killua Zoldyck, Biscuit Krueger, Izunavi, Hanzo, Morel Mackernasey, and Palm Siberia will all be working with us to secure the city and track these criminals. The teams will be as follows.” She pulled up a document and Leorio groaned loudly, drawing an irate glare from the chairwoman. 

West End: Gon, Killua, Leorio, Kurapika

East End: Biscuit, Gel, Botobai, Hanzo

North Sector: Mizaistom, Izunavi, Pyon, Saiyu

South Sector: Kanzai, Morel, Cluck, Ginta

HQ: Cheadle, Saccho, Palm

“Leorio can’t walk yet,” Kurapika protested, “he shouldn’t be out on the streets—“

“The Rat’s powers would be more useful back here—“ Leorio said at the same time.

“And I can’t see why we would cover the west end when we know the attacks have moved north—“

“Besides, I should be helping the injured, or you, Cheadle, I mean—“

“It’s, it’s absurd,” Kurapika sputtered. 

Cheadle just folded her arms. 

Kanzai shrugged. “They’re kinda right,” he observed. “And Leorio really isn’t fit for combat.”

“If you would all let me finish,” Cheadle huffed, “you would see that I’ve considered all of these points already. Gon and Killua have been covering the western half of the city for the past day by themselves. While the central hospital was unavailable, the university medical center became the primary location for treating the wounded.” She pulled up a map with each of their names marked in their assigned locations. “It’s also next to a known underground gathering place, the Forge. Based on Ging’s intel, we discovered a tunnel between the buildings that seems to lead out of the city. Kurapika and Leorio are key to gaining access to the entry points and securing them for our purposes. Those in the north must be extremely vigilant, and Mizai and Saiyu both have abilities that can detain and immobilize attackers. The east and south will be traps and rebuilding. I’ll need Palm here for her clairvoyance. Any further questions?” Her nose had perked up in her irritation. Everyone looked at each other uncomfortably. 

Kurapika raised his hand. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to have your authority at the hospital, given Leorio’s injuries? He could stay here with Palm.” 

Cheadle glared at Leorio, clearly blaming him for Kurapika’s misgivings. “Mr. Paradinight is well-known and well-liked among the university’s medical staff. In fact, they are all more familiar with him than they are with me. That position is far better suited to his strengths than managing communications from here.” 

Leorio shrugged. “You’re right, as always,” he sighed. “Besides, I can manage well enough with this.” He waved a cane in the air and Kurapika rolled his eyes. 

“Just remember this when your leg gives out,” he muttered. 

As Leorio shuffled towards the door, Cheadle gently placed a hand on his back. “How are you, really?,” she asked softly. 

“Oh, you know,” Leorio shrugged, “in excruciating pain or whatever.” 

She frowned. “Is there anything you’d like to tell me? You seem... unhappy.” 

The Boar snorted. “I can barely walk, Cheadle, of course I’m unhappy,” he snapped, turning away so she wouldn’t see the pain flash across his face. “It’s... I’m just being childish, really.”

“Hmmph. Well, I was doing Gon a favor by acquiescing to his request for the four of you to work together. Please don’t make me regret it.” 

She walked out and Leorio sighed. “Fucking Gon,” he muttered. 

———————

Kurapika had been staring at the security cameras for hours when he heard the door open behind him. “I’m rather busy,” he said without turning. 

“Yeah, and I’m bored,” Killua sighed. “Nothing is happening anywhere. We’re just sitting around.” He flopped into an empty office chair and spun around through the room. 

Kurapika frowned at his screens. “Killua, please, I’m trying to focus on surveillance right now.” 

“There’s nothing to watch! Nobody’s doing shit,” Killua whined. “You haven’t seen a single person the past three days.” 

Kurapika sighed and turned to look at him. “That’s exactly why I have to keep watching. I thought you were familiar with stakeouts?” 

His younger friend chuckled. “This is hardly a stakeout. You could just go over there anytime.” 

“We’d lose any element of surprise.”

“Pussy.” 

“Killua!” 

“Sorry. Is coward better, or loser?” the teen grinned. “Come on, just let me go over and find the entrance. It’ll be so much faster!” 

Kurapika glanced at the camera feed again and sighed. “I suppose that makes sense. Just—“ 

“YES,” Killua shouted, dashing away before the Kurta could finish. He appeared on Kurapika’s screen in the blink of an eye, waving a hand at the camera as he strolled through the warehouse. Kurapika had to switch between three camera views before Killua stopped and knelt down. He carefully lifted a crate and set it back down as quietly as he could. He looked back at the camera and gave Kurapika a thumbs up. 

Kurapika frowned. “Too easy,” he mumbled to himself. He shook his head, trying to clear his doubts. Killua burst in and he jumped. 

“Well, now the old man can go over and feel around, right? He’s the best at En.” 

“Oh, um, yes, I suppose so,” Kurapika said quietly, “though something seems... off.” 

Killua nodded. “That was way too easy. It’s definitely a trap, but I couldn’t sense anyone inside.” 

“Hmmm.” The blonde closed the window and switched to the hospital’s security cameras. Gon was cheerfully wandering around the entrance on guard duty, chatting with patients and their families as they came through the doors. Leorio was leaving a room with a dark look on his face. He hobbled purposefully towards the elevator. 

“What’s he up to,” Killua wondered. He leaned over Kurapika’s shoulder to get a better view. 

“Well, the connecting entrance should be in the basement,” Kurapika explained, “so he’s probably trying to get down there again. Dammit, he shouldn’t be going alone—Killua, can you go stop him?!” 

Killua shrugged. “Ah, he’ll be fine—look, the basement’s totally empty. Besides, I wanna ask you something.” 

Kurapika turned to glare at him. “This better be important.” 

The teen grinned. “What’s up with you two? You’re totally avoiding each other. Leorio said you had a fight?” 

Kurapika closed his eyes and sighed. “It’s not important. Moreover, it’s none of your business.” 

“Actually, I think it’s affecting the team, and you should tell me.”

“It was just a trivial disagreement. I don’t want to discuss this any further.” He stood up and walked towards the door. Killua groaned and pushed his chair across the room. 

“You’re so full of it, Pika!”

“Don’t call me that,” the blonde snapped as he left the room. 

Leorio stood over the trap door and took a deep breath. His aura pulsed through the floor, bringing back the vague shape of the tunnel and its contents. “It splits into three,” he whispered into his walkie-talkie, “and each path has a trip wire that I think triggers... spikes? A pit? It’s hard to tell.” 

“Cool,” Killua responded. “Anyone in there?”

“Not at the moment. There’s no residual bloodlust, either. I can sense a lot of... um. Certain types of insects.” 

“Ha! Don’t worry, he’s not listening right now.” 

Leorio felt an odd pang of sadness at the knowledge that Kurapika wasn’t paying attention to his exploration. “Should I open the door?,” he asked. 

“Ummm, lemme find out.” 

The tall student leaned heavily on his cane and stared at nothing, trying not to think about Kurapika. He felt guilty for saying they couldn’t be friends. He’d just been trying to hurt his feelings, and he couldn’t tell if it had worked. The radio buzzed. 

“I don’t think you should go down there yet,” Kurapika said firmly. 

“You’re the boss,” Leorio sighed as he straightened up. 

“There’s been no sign of the enemy and we could risk setting off alarms.” 

“Yeah, I got it.” 

“Gon thinks we should pull back entirely, act like we’re not here for work.” 

“Hmm. That’s not a bad idea.” Leorio limped back to the hospital and met Gon at the front door. The teenager wrapped him in a big hug, exclaiming, “Let’s throw a party!!” 

Leorio grinned. “That could be fun.”


	6. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team throws a party in the hospital, hoping to lure the terrorists into a false sense of security. Things heat up between Kurapika and Leorio.

Kurapika heartily disapproved of the party idea until he complained about it to Mizaistom, who said it could be an effective way to draw the terrorists out of hiding. “If they think the hospital and the Forge are unprotected, they may decide to make use of the passage.”

A young nurse tapped Kurapika’s shoulder as he hung up and handed him a drink with a sly smile. “Let’s see you relax, cutie,” he teased. Kurapika frowned and walked away. 

It wasn’t long before everyone was drunk: Gon shouting praises at anyone who came within his eyesight, Killua sneaking medical supplies into his pockets (until a doctor caught him), Leorio leading a terrible karaoke experiment. Half the university seemed to be there, spilling out into the courtyard between the science building and the back wing of the hospital. Kurapika was leaning on a wall chatting with some art history graduate student trying to decide if he wanted to sleep with him. The student was only a bit taller than him, though a freshly trimmed flattop gave him another two inches. He wore small glasses that slid to the end of his nose as he spoke. Kurapika sipped his drink and tried to convince himself he hadn’t picked this guy because he reminded him of Leorio. He watched his tall friend as he pulled Killua into the grass and danced with him wildly, the boy protesting at first but giving in to the ridiculousness as he started to laugh. His companion followed his eye line. “Ugh, you too? I just don’t get it. All the hottest people are like, obsessed with that guy. I know he was famous or whatever but damn, I don’t think he’s that attractive.” 

“I—what? I’m friends with Killua, I’m not—dammit.” Kurapika sighed as the other man walked away. He shoved himself off the wall and went to refill his drink. Gon appeared next to him, wearing a mischievous grin. 

“Wanna play a game?”

“No.” 

“Too bad! I just learned this from Sunny—oh, where’d she go?—anyways, come on! I’m gonna make everyone play,” Gon said as he dragged his friend through the party. 

A circle formed on the grass and Kurapika found himself stuck next to Leorio. They each muttered a greeting into their drinks. Gon clapped his hands together and loudly explained the rules to “never have I ever,” to a chorus of groans and laughs. The game moved quickly. Never have I ever flown an airship. Never have I ever slept with someone of the same sex. Never have I ever been married. Never have I ever been shot. Never have I ever done drugs, sang in public, done anal, lied to my parents, had a pet, cheated on a partner. Killua pretended to be lost in thought when his turn rolled around. He looked at Leorio and Kurapika, wondering why they were standing so awkwardly. His eyes narrowed. “Never have I ever slept with someone here,” he said loudly. Leorio glanced down at Kurapika but the Kurta just stared at Killua as he brought his cup to his lips. The circle erupted in giggles as people nudged each other and downed their drinks. Killua smirked. The next person continued. Never have I ever had a threesome, never have I ever broken a bone, never have I ever taken the Hunter Exam, never have I ever slept with a coworker. Killua chuckled to himself as he watched his friends drink again on the last one. It was Kurapika’s turn. He glanced at Leorio out of the corner of his eyes, feeling a bit cruel from the alcohol. 

“Never have I ever been in love.” 

Leorio’s face contorted in anger as he finished his drink. “I’m out,” he announced, walking away. 

“Leorioooo,” Gon called, “come back! It’s your turn!” 

The tall man just waved a hand and kept walking. Kurapika stared at the ground as his stomach churned with guilt. 

A few hours later, Kurapika was completely wasted. He’d forgotten all about the mission, the plan of using the party as bait, his responsibilities. Everything was a vague blur surrounding a knot of desire in his stomach. He staggered through the party until he found what he was looking for. “Leorio,” he called, “hey, Leorio!” Leorio turned and grunted in shock as Kurapika flung his arms around him, giggling. “You’re so tall,” he said drunkenly, “tall and handsome.” 

Leorio pried his arms off and practically shoved him away. “What the fuck is wrong with you?,” he demanded. 

Kurapika blinked, confused. “Are you still mad?,” he slurred, “I’m sorry you lost the game.” 

The tall man just shook his head slowly, opening and closing his mouth without speaking. He snorted. “I’m not fucking drunk enough for this,” he snapped, lurching away. 

“Leorio, wait,” Kurapika whined, trailing after him. He leaned against the wall as his friend knocked back three shots of vodka without flinching. “Leorio,” he giggled, “Leorio, let’s go somewhere.” He tugged on his sleeve and Leorio yanked it away roughly, glaring at him. 

“I can’t fucking believe you,” he growled. “Fuck off, Pika. Go find someone else to mess with.”

Kurapika pouted and grabbed at his arm again as he tried to leave. “Leorioooo,” he whined, “I’m sorry I was mean, I really like you, I wanna kiss you, please!” 

Leorio’s face crumpled as he jerked away again. “You’re just drunk, Kurapika. Leave me alone.” 

He grabbed the nearest person and pulled them into a conversation that shortly dissolved into making out. Kurapika glared at them, swaying slightly. “That’s rude,” he said to himself. He wandered around the room but nobody was catching his eye. Killua poked him. 

“So, you and Leorio, huh?” 

“Pfftt. No. Gross.” 

“Liar.” 

Kurapika shrugged and wandered away. He went outside. The courtyard had gotten colder and it was almost empty, so he lay down in the grass and stared up at the stars. “Mama,” he said quietly, “I think I might be stupid. I keep lying to everyone. I’m not supposed to lie.” He sat up just enough to take another sip of his drink, coughing slightly as it burned the back of his tongue. The stars were barely visible through the lights of the hospital, but he still wanted to look at them. His mother had loved the night sky. It still felt like she might be able to hear him sometimes. “Mama, I’m sorry I don’t talk to you enough. I’m so busy all the time.” He rolled onto his stomach and fiddled with a blade of grass. “I think you would really like Leorio,” he whispered. “He’s so good and kind. I ruined everything.” 

Kurapika pushed himself up, not wanting to cry, and went back inside for another drink. Gon snatched it from his hand. 

“You’re drunk,” the kid observed, “I think you might be too drunk.”

“Bah, whatever,” Kurapika slurred. “Have you seen Leorio?” 

Gon shrugged. The Kurta made a noncommittal noise and drifted through the crowd. His heart leapt when he saw his friend’s head above the other partiers, heading towards the exit he’d just come through. Kurapika followed him. Leorio stumbled into the courtyard and lit a cigarette, sitting awkwardly on the stairs with his injured leg stuck out. 

“Leorio?” Kurapika said shyly. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Leorio groaned, “what do you want?!” 

Kurapika shoved his hands in his pockets. “Just a cigarette,” he mumbled. 

“Oh. Okay. Sorry. Here,” Leorio said. They smoked in silence, trying not to look at each other. 

“I miss the stars,” Kurapika said quietly. Leorio glanced at him. 

“They’re right there.” 

“No, real stars. Too bright here.” 

“Oh. I wouldn’t really know,” Leorio shrugged, “most of my life has been in cities.” 

“My mom taught me all the stars,” Kurapika whispered. He pointed vaguely at the sky. “But I can’t tell which one is which from here.” 

Leorio just nodded, wondering why he hadn’t walked away yet. 

“I’m sorry for being such a jerk,” Kurapika mumbled. “I don’t get why you would think you like me. You could have anyone, and I’m... just a waste of space. I won’t get to be in love.” 

Leorio sighed and closed his eyes, lighting another cigarette before he spoke. “Kurapika, of course you’ll... find... love. Don’t be silly. You’re... amazing. And so on.” 

The blonde smiled softly. “You’re so hot it’s stupid,” he mumbled drunkenly. 

Leorio looked away. His head was spinning. “You’re really messing me up, Pika.” 

“I like that you call me that,” Kurapika whispered. He reached for Leorio’s face, turning it towards him. “I miss kissing you, Leorio.” 

The tall student scowled and knocked his hand away. “You’re really fucked up, you know that?!,” he snapped. 

Kurapika fingered his tie. “Are you still mad?” 

“Am I—“ Leorio sputtered. “Are you fucking  _ kidding _ me, Kurapika? You’ve—you keep telling me we’re done, I finally get used to it, you show up drunk and expect everything to go back the way it was before YOU said we had to end this?! Make up your goddamn mind!” 

The Kurta looked up at him through his bangs, biting his lip slightly. “Why are you still here if you’re so mad?,” he whispered. 

Before Leorio could respond, Kurapika grabbed his tie and pulled him into a sloppy kiss. Leorio reared back, holding Kurapika’s head away from him by a handful of blonde hair. “What the fuck,” he seethed, “is wrong with you?!” 

Kurapika grinned drunkenly. “I can think of a way to deal with your anger,” he slurred. 

Leorio stared at him in shock. “Please, Leorio,” Kurapika whispered, “just take it out on me, I deserve it.” He opened his mouth slightly, letting his tongue fall out. “Aaahhhhh,” he teased. 

Leorio was too far gone to resist any longer. “I fucking hate you,” he growled before kissing him again. Their mouths collided aggressively and Kurapika giggled. Leorio flung him to the ground. “Let’s go. Inside,” he commanded. 

They stumbled into an office, slamming the door behind them. Leorio’s cane clattered to the floor as he lifted Kurapika into his arms, staggering towards the desk. He dropped the blonde clumsily and started to undo his tie. Nimble fingers pulled his buttons apart and tugged him back down. Kurapika gasped as he felt teeth on his neck, arching his back upwards. “Is your leg-“ he whispered, but Leorio pulled back and slapped him across the face. The blonde blinked, stunned for a moment. 

“Like you care,” Leorio growled, “Just shut the fuck up.” 

Kurapika grinned and shimmied out of his jacket. The taller man tugged his head upwards and kissed him roughly, ripping his shirt apart. Kurapika moaned as those strong hands ran under his binder, pressing into his bare sides. 

“Leorio—“ he started, but he was slapped again. 

“Told you to shut up,” Leorio said gruffly. He stumbled to the chair and collapsed into it. “Take off your pants,” he gasped as he undid his belt. 

The blonde giggled and stripped off the remainder of his clothing, hopping to the floor. He greedily tugged Leorio’s cock free and licked it, gazing up at him. The tall man grunted and took hold of his hair. Kurapika pushed his head into his grasp with a soft noise of contentment and slowly moved his mouth down around him. Leorio groaned as his cock disappeared into the warmth of his friend’s mouth. He finally dragged his eyes away from the ceiling to watch Kurapika moving. The blonde paused to smile drunkenly up at him, strands of saliva holding them together. His breathing was heavy as his eyes traveled across Leorio’s tan, muscular body. A hand connected with his cheek and just as he was yelping in shock his head was forced back down. Leorio grunted as he controlled Kurapika’s head with his hands, ignoring the gagging and sputtering from the smaller man.

“Ah, fuck,” Leorio gasped, suddenly holding Kurapika away by his hair. “Did you bring lube?,” he panted. Kurapika shook his head and pointed to the cabinets lining the wall. Leorio laughed. “Good idea. Go look.” He smacked his friend’s ass when he stood up to check the cabinets. 

Kurapika stumbled. Leorio had never hit him that hard before.  _ It’s what I deserve. This is exactly what I needed. _ He bit his lip happily and rummaged through the shelves before tossing a bottle of lubricant over. He hopped back to the desk and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth. Leorio grunted and stood up, sending them both tumbling down. Kurapika managed to catch himself and reached a hand out but Leorio kicked his good leg and brought the blonde crashing to the ground. His head knocked against the desk and he winced, but the tall man was already dragging him into another kiss. Kurapika squirmed as Leorio attacked his neck and grabbed him, toying with his clit until he thought he might explode. “Please,” he whined, and Leorio grinned. He lurched up, wincing slightly as he took to his injured leg and dragged the small man to his feet. He shoved him against the desk and ground into him, kissing the back of his neck. “Please fuck me,” Kurapika gasped, “ple—agh!” Leorio’s arm choked him in a headlock, cutting off his windpipe. He scratched at the powerful arm and it loosened slightly, only to allow him to scream as two thick fingers slid inside him. “Ah, ah, ah,” was all Kurapika could manage as Leorio’s hand thrust aggressively. He squealed when his friend added another finger, shoving his legs apart with his good knee. 

Leorio bent down to suck on his neck again and Kurapika sighed happily. A large hand covered a mouth. “I can’t fucking stand you,” Leorio hissed as he pushed the rest of his hand inside Kurapika. The blonde’s eyes rolled back in his head and he screamed into his friend’s palm. Leorio laughed. “You’re such a greedy slut,” he growled. Kurapika nodded and made noises of agreement as his knees buckled. He gasped for air when his mouth was uncovered, but squeaked as Leorio yanked his hair backwards to kiss him roughly. Kurapika whined pitifully as his friend removed his hand. 

“What’s the matter,” Leorio teased, “what do you want?” 

“Fuckmefuckmefuckme,” Kurapika moaned, “pleasepleaseplease ohh FUCK!” He shrieked as Leorio slammed into him, flinging him back to the desk. The tall man grunted and slapped his ass again. 

“That’s gonna hurt later,” he said through his teeth. 

“Ahah ha ah ah,” was all Kurapika could manage. 

Leorio leaned most of his weight on his good leg as he thrust into him aggressively. “Fuck you,” he hissed, “Selfish fuck,” losing himself in the mix of throbbing pain and unbelievable arousal. The blonde gripped the desk so hard it started to break around his fingers. A broad hand clutched one of his tits tightly, tugging the hard nipple in a rough circle as it anchored his friend deep into his body. The fingers slid down his stomach and wrapped around his clit, pulling an orgasmic moan and a shuddering collapse out of his muscles almost immediately. 

Kurapika’s forehead came down on the desk and his legs went limp but his lover just rutted into him even more purposefully. All he could do was bite his lip as he was fucked, gasping Leorio’s name and cursing him and trying not to scream too loudly. “Mmmph!” he yelped as he was yanked up by his throat. 

“Everyone knows,” Leorio panted in his ear, “that you’re a selfish, fucking, slut, so let them hear you scream.” 

Kurapika moaned loudly as the taller man rocked his hips slowly, plunging deeper with each thrust. Leorio smacked him again and he shrieked. 

“That’s better,” Leorio growled. 

He sped up again and Kurapika squealed, “oh, FUCK, LEORIO,” relinquishing the last bit of his self control as he yelped happily. Strong hands dragged him off the desk and flung him to the ground. He gasped in pain as his head hit the chair, shaking at the sudden emptiness. Yes. This is how much he should hate me. “Ow,” he groaned, but he was already being pulled to his knees. 

“Mouth,” Leorio grunted, and Kurapika obeyed. As soon as his lips reached the base of the shaft, something slid into him from behind. He choked and reared back, trying to scramble to his feet but collapsing with a loud moan as whatever it was thrust up against his g-spot. 

“I—w-wha—“ he gasped, wishing the room would stop spinning so he could see between his legs. 

Leorio laughed and slapped his cock against his face. “Don’t worry about it,” he chuckled. 

“Wh-“ Kurapika started, but his mouth was full before he could finish. “MmPH!!!” He protested, straining against his friend’s firm grip on his hair. 

Leorio grinned and waved his free hand at him. It wasn’t a hand, actually, more a blur of repetitive motions that seemed to disappear into thin air. He shifted the arm and Kurapika moaned as the missing hand thrust inside him. Leorio held him by his hair and laughed as the blonde’s eyes fluttered and his mouth fell open. 

“Ah, MmFUCK, LEORIO,” Kurapika shrieked. Three long fingers pulled him closer to the edge with each masterful movement. 

“Don’t you dare,” Leorio growled. The blonde whined pitifully, barely holding back his orgasm. 

“P-please,” he gasped. 

“No.” 

“PLEASE, FUCK!” 

“I said no, slut.” Kurapika managed to open his eyes, desperate to keep pleading, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate anymore. “Ahhhiooo,” he whined. 

The brunette smiled down at him. “You’re so pretty when you beg, Pika.” 

Kurapika’s whole body twitched as he came, hips thrusting at thin air. 

“Dammit!” 

Leorio was in his mouth again and he was gagging and then Leorio moaned, “oh, fuck, Pika,” and held his head still while he pulled out and finished on his face. Kurapika squealed angrily and fell backwards, coughing. 

Leorio collapsed on the chair, clutching his knee. He chuckled darkly as he looked down at the Kurta frantically wiping his face. “You look so fucking stupid,” he laughed, pulling his pants back up. “I mean, definitely kinda hot, but mostly just pathetic. I don’t know why I agreed to this. You’re so fucked up.” He groaned painfully as he stood and reached for his cane. 

“Leorio,” Kurapika whined, “you got it in my eyes! Is that really your best attempt at domination, just making a mess of things?” 

The tall man laughed and tossed his friend’s torn shirt over. “Not my problem,” he teased, “you’re the one who wanted me to be mean to you.” 

“Leorio, wait,” Kurapika sputtered as he sat up. “I’m—my shirt is ruined, I can’t—don’t leave, please!” 

Leorio sighed and leaned against the wall. The blonde had haphazardly cleaned himself off with the ripped shirt, a few globs of cum sticking to his hair as he clutched the fabric to his stomach. 

“I can’t leave like this,” Kurapika said shakily. 

Leorio shrugged. “I feel like it’s fine. I know I just said you look stupid, but you actually look really cute. It’s annoying.” 

Kurapika’s face brightened and he perked up. “Really?? You think I’m cute?,” he asked, swaying slightly from the alcohol. 

Leorio rolled his eyes. His mind was slowly settling back into a state of pure panic at the insanity of this decision, but he couldn’t help how much he still loved his friend. Kurapika tried to get up but squeaked in pain, falling back to his hands and crawling across the room. Leorio sighed. “Here, you can have the t-shirt.” 

The blonde managed to lean himself against the wall to stand next to his friend as he took the shirt. “Thank you, Leorio,” he said softly. 

“Yeah, whatever. We’re gonna talk about this in the morning,” Leorio huffed. 

Kurapika reached up and gently stroked his cheek. “Can I kiss you?,” he whispered. 

Leorio pressed his lips to his palm before removing it. “No,” he said, leaving the room. 

“Oh,” Kurapika said to himself. He slid back to the floor and watched the room spin. 

After some time—Kurapika had no idea how much—somebody pushed the door open. “Hello?,” Kurapika asked, reaching for his pants. 

Killua poked his head in. 

“Oh, no,” Kurapika moaned, diving behind the desk. 

“Jesus Christ, what the FUCK,” Killua yelled, covering his eyes. “WHAT HAPPENED IN HERE! PLEASE TELL ME THAT’S NOT—” 

“STOP YELLING,” Kurapika screeched. He hurriedly pulled the rest of his clothes on, tucking Leorio’s enormous shirt loosely into his pants. “I- I- CLOSE THE DOOR, KILLUA!” 

The boy slammed it behind him, still covering his eyes. “Why did  _ I _ have to find you,” he groaned, “we split up to look!” 

Kurapika was too embarrassed to respond. His whole body was sore already. Killua slowly dragged his hands down his face. “So, you fucked Leorio, huh?” 

The Kurta was shocked by the bluntness. “I- wh- no! Why would you think that,” he giggled uncomfortably. 

Killua rolled his eyes. “Dude, you’re wearing his shirt.” 

“Ohhh, this? N-nooo,” Kurapika stammered. Standing up made him dizzy. He sat down on the floor and winced. 

“You are so fucking drunk,” Killua sighed, “come on, idiot. It’s bedtime.” Kurapika just nodded. 


	7. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the party, Leorio talks to Kurapika. He reaches out to Melody for advice. Killua also confronts Kurapika.

The morning sun kicked Kurapika in the stomach and he rolled over, vomiting immediately. He groaned with each slight movement, feeling the bruises and scratches all over his body. The night was a blur. He stared into the trash can someone had left next to his bed. “Everything hurts,” he moaned to himself. 

“I bet,” Leorio said from the doorway. 

Kurapika looked at him in a panic before turning to vomit again. “Oh, god,” he groaned, “don’t—watch this.” 

Leorio shrugged and limped across the room, sitting on the empty hospital bed across from Kurapika. “How much do you remember?,” he asked quietly. 

“Can this wait?,” Kurapika coughed. He noticed a glass of water near his bed and gasped in relief as he reached for it. Leorio rested his chin on the top of his cane and watched him. “Please, Leorio,” Kurapika whispered, “this is humiliating.” 

“I know,” his friend replied. 

“I remember everything we did, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Kurapika finally muttered. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Leorio. Discussing why he had thrown himself at him seemed an insurmountable task—especially given he was trying to make sense of it himself. “I don’t have any good answers,” he sighed, “I was just really drunk. I’m sorry.” Leorio looked at him silently. The Kurta sat up, wincing as he did. “Leorio, please say something.” 

The tall student shrugged. “I’m not sure what to say, honestly. I’ve been thinking about it for hours and I just...” He shrugged again. “I don’t know where to start with you.” 

Kurapika stared at the wall. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

“What are you apologizing for specifically?,” Leorio asked. 

The blonde shivered and wrapped his arms around himself, remembering as he did that the shirt he wore belonged to Leorio. “Dammit,” he mumbled. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for... last night. Getting so drunk, and making you... have sex with me. That was inappropriate.” 

“Hmm. Well, yes, that was fucked up, but to be honest, it’s hard not to have fun fucking you. I do feel like I was a little too mean, though. My bad.” 

Kurapika blushed. “I’m... also sorry for trying to, um. Break things off, and then kissing you, and then telling you no, and then doing that last night, and generally, for being, um, selfish, and... terrible,” he blurted. 

Leorio smiled softly at the floor. “I don’t forgive you,” he said calmly. He looked up at Kurapika and repeated it. “I don’t forgive you, Kurapika. Wow, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to say that. You’ve been a real asshole this past week. I got fucking  _ shot, _ I can barely walk, and that’s somehow been less of a problem than you. Unfortunately, as much as I wish I could hate you, I’m still in love with you, because I’m an idiot. And because of that, I really want to forgive you.” His voice tweaked slightly and he cleared his throat. “So. That sucks for me. Cause you don’t have feelings for me. And, you’re kind of a dick.” He shrugged and stood up. “I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Leorio, wait, I- I want to keep talking now,” Kurapika pleaded. His friend limped out of the room and closed the door. The blonde sank back into the bed and hissed a tearful curse.

Leorio called Melody. He wasn’t sure why he picked her. 

“Oh, Leorio!,” she chirped. 

“I’m in love with Kurapika,” he blurted. 

A tiny, tinkling laugh came through the phone. “Yes, I know,” she said kindly, “but when did you realize?” 

Leorio smiled sadly. “Oh, ages ago. But we’ve been doing this no strings attached thing that’s made it a thousand times worse.” 

“Hmmm. What do you mean?” 

Leorio sighed. “Well, I’m in love with him. And he doesn’t feel anything for me, apparently, and he keeps telling me we’re done and... throwing himself at me, and pushing me away, and I feel like I’m going insane.” 

“Oh, Leorio,” Melody said sadly, “he’s just afraid to feel.” 

“I know.” 

A brief silence hummed on the phone line. “What do you want me to tell you?,” she whispered, and Leorio tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he stared at the fluorescent lights. 

“I’m not sure,” he finally mumbled, “I think I was hoping you would tell me he is in love with me after all, but I guess that’s silly. I don’t know if I should just... avoid him completely, or accept that he’ll always come back to me when he’s had enough to drink, or just... I really don’t know.” His voice broke and he swallowed again. 

Melody sighed quietly. “Of course he cares about you, Leorio. His heartbeat changes whenever he’s near you; it’s the only time I hear a rhythm of pure joy break through all of that anger and sadness. I can’t tell you what to do. I can try to talk to him, I suppose, try to make him see some sense.” 

“I... yes, maybe. I would appreciate that, actually. Just don’t mention we spoke, please? He’ll only shut you down. It was... supposed to be a secret.” 

“Of course.” 

Leorio hung up and limped away, trying to find someone he could help. 

Kurapika’s hangover was making it hard to focus on the surveillance cameras. Killua spun in a chair beside him, having insisted the Kurta couldn’t get rid of him for the day. 

“Why didn’t you guys just say you were having relationship problems?,” he suddenly snapped. “It’s so fucking stupid. Anyone with half a brain could see you guys have been together for months.” 

Kurapika scowled at him. “We have not been together, Killua. We are not in a relationship. It’s none of your business.” Killua groaned and kicked his leg, drawing an even more intense glare. 

“Liar,” he muttered, “you guys are like, obviously in love with each other.” 

“No,” Kurapika said sternly. He turned back to the screens, squinting painfully. “I think Cheadle miscalculated. Nothing indicates these tunnels are still in use.” He sighed and checked his emails, wondering why the other Zodiacs had been so quiet since they split up. 

“Are you the reason Leorio was crying?,” Killua asked quietly. 

Kurapika’s shoulders tensed as he ignored the question. “I should call the headquarters and check if we can get an updated assignment.” 

“Stop trying to avoid this, Peeks.” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

“What’s going on with you guys?” 

“Nothing at all. Yes, we hooked up. Fine. There’s nothing else to it. Sometimes people have sex with each other, it’s not that exciting.” 

Killua frowned at him. “But he’s your best friend.” 

“And that’s exactly why it won’t be happening again,” the blonde said calmly. He stood up and walked into the hallway. 

“Has it happened before?,” Killua asked, following him out. 

“Why do you care?” 

“That’s a yes. So what’s the deal?” 

“There is no deal. Stop asking.” 

“Tell me what’s happening and maybe I will.” 

“Nothing is happening. We agreed it won’t be repeated. It’s fine.” 

“You are so clearly not fine, asshole.” 

“Leave me alone, Killua. We have much larger problems right now.” 

A few days passed without any new developments. Biscuit finally called with an update: she and Gel had successfully detained a gunman, only to have him swallow a cyanide pill as soon as they asked him a question. “Too bad for him,” Biscuit chirped, “we already overheard him saying they might be able to go back to the dugout if the distractions continue. It seems there will be another explosion tonight, and that the enemy believes we are completely unaware of the tunnel entrances.” Hanzo talked over her and Leorio chuckled as he heard the gem hunter snark at him. 

“Everyone says you guys have to have another party, can I pleeeeaaaseee come?,” the ninja begged. “I’m so tired of sitting around here!!” 

“I dunno, Hanzo, you’ll have to clear that with Cheadle,” Leorio laughed. “But does this mean we are expected to throw another party?” 

“Yes,” Biscuit yelled over the muffled sound of a slap. “But please, do  _ not _ let those two idiots drink.” 

The medical student sighed. “I’ll do my best.”


	8. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team throws another party. Leorio and Kurapika have an honest conversation.

Kurapika drank alone against a wall, watching everyone else dancing. Leorio was holding a pale woman close, their bodies meshing together perfectly as he swung through the room.  _ God, his body,  _ the Kurta thought to himself,  _ too bad I ruined that. _ He frowned into his drink and tried to banish any thoughts of sleeping with his friend.  _ Are we even still friends? I really miss talking to him. I just wish I could kiss him. He’s such a good kisser. His hands are so soft... if only he would hold me as gently as he did that first time I let him stay over. _ That night had been unbelievable. Kurapika couldn’t remember ever having an orgasm like the one Leorio gave him, and the way his friend had carefully pushed him beyond his limits through to a second one had driven him nearly insane. The tall man had pulled him close in his sleep, murmuring his name with an unconscious smile. It made Kurapika so nervous. They’d had sex again in the morning, slowly and tenderly, mouths barely coming apart even to gasp for air.  _ I want to be lost in him again. I can’t want that. I need to focus. We’re only using this party as a trap. _ He checked the surveillance feed again, but Cheadle called and said they’d shifted another team to be on top of the actual watching. 

“I don’t mean to intrude on your personal lives, but you and Leorio have both been acting quite irrationally recently. Whatever argument you had needs to be settled before we go into those tunnels.” 

“We aren’t having any problems, I’m sorry if we’ve been less productive than expected.” 

“Don’t even try. I know he was teasing you during that meeting, but he means well. We can’t afford to lose either of you. Please try to forgive him; he loses his focus whenever he has an interpersonal conflict.” 

Kurapika snorted. “You shouldn’t baby him, chairman. I’m sure it’s nothing.” 

“Please, Kurapika. Whatever it is, the negative energy is affecting all of us.” 

The blonde groaned as soon as he hung up, finishing another drink in one gulp. Leorio was talking rather closely with a different stranger when he reentered the room, smirking as their hand trailed down his chest. 

Gon hugged Kurapika from behind. “Aww, do you have a crush on Leorio?,” he said happily. 

The Kurta was glad his young friend couldn’t see his face collapse. “No, of course not,” he whispered, “I just need to talk to him about something the chairman shared.” 

“Boo. I think you guys would be cute.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Gon. Stop messing around.” 

Gon laughed heartily and slapped the blonde on the back. “I’m only kidding, Peeks, I know you don’t do relationships. And wow, it would be such a mess if you guys got together.” He wheezed with laughter at his own imagination, wandering away to join another conversation. 

Kurapika turned back to the dancers and frowned. Leorio had disappeared, leaving the disappointed stranger to finish their drink alone. The blonde sighed and wandered through the party.  _ This is so stupid. We’re putting all of these civilians in danger for a trap that will most likely fail. And Cheadle wants me to focus on getting along with Leorio?? How is that any of her concern? Has everyone else really noticed the tension between us? If only I wasn’t such an asshole. Gon is right. I can’t be in a relationship, and sleeping together was enough of a disaster already. _ In the hallway, rain beat down outside, blocking the courtyard escape he sought. 

“Hey,” Leorio said softly. 

Kurapika turned around slowly, afraid to look at him. “Hi.” 

“I’m guessing Cheadle spoke to you?” 

“Oh. Yes. I’m glad we aren’t entirely responsible for covering the tunnel anymore.” 

“Mmm.” Leorio lit a cigarette and offered one to Kurapika, lighting it carefully. 

“Should we be smoking in a hospital?” the blonde whispered. 

The tall man shrugged. “Probably not. Guess I’m a bad doctor.” He sighed as he exhaled, adjusting his glasses. “I’m assuming she also lectured you about how we haven’t been a very good team.” 

“Yeah.” 

Leorio’s heart was racing as he watched his friend nervously shuffle his feet.  _ Why can’t I get over him? I’m being such an idiot. Everyone I try to be with only reminds me of what I’m missing. It’s out of the question now. If only I could stop thinking about kissing him. If only I believed he was really an asshole, not just scared, it would be easier to walk away. _ “So,” he started, but Kurapika cut him off. 

“I am so sorry, Leorio.” He swallowed, distressed by the tightness in his chest. “I’ve been a truly awful friend, and I... I’ve hurt you so much, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I just... I miss you, having someone I truly trust, I miss you terribly.” He looked away as his voice faded to a barely audible mumble. “I can’t stand not talking to you anymore.” 

Leorio closed his eyes and leaned on his cane. His leg was bothering him less with each passing day, but something about Kurapika’s sincerity sent a jolt of pain through the wound. 

“Can we please be friends again?,” the Kurta whispered. 

The tall man sighed again. “I don’t know, Pika. It was hard enough to bury my feelings for you before we started sleeping together. I want to be with you in ways you don’t reciprocate.” He took another drag of his cigarette, staring glumly out the window. “I guess if you promise to stop yanking my chain I could give it a try.” 

“I mean... I do really like being with you,” Kurapika said shyly. He placed a hand on his friend’s arm, but it was pulled away. “I was foolish to believe I could just give that up.” 

“Are you being purposefully obtuse?,” Leorio snapped. He stepped away, ashing his cigarette and immediately lighting a second one. “I just asked you to stop trying to lead me on. Grow up already. You barely let me spend time with you in an effort to avoid feelings, but now that I’ve confessed mine were already there you think you can just keep fucking me without having to deal with how I feel about it? That doesn’t make any goddamn sense. I have no idea how I fell for such a selfish asshole.” 

“I am selfish. I want you all to myself, Leorio.” 

“Yeah, well. That doesn’t mean a lot if you won’t share yourself with me.” The tall student started to leave but Kurapika tugged at his sleeve. 

“Leorio, I... I don’t know why I can’t just say what I mean.” He took a deep breath. His friend didn’t turn around, but he didn’t walk away, either. “I thought that if I told myself I didn’t have feelings for you that I could avoid getting hurt. Or worse, hurting you when you would eventually realize how despicable I am. My life is nothing. I told you before I don’t have room for anything good. You are the greatest good I’ve ever known. All I’ve done by trying keep a wall between us is destroy everything I held dearest. I knew my life was meaningless but it truly stopped mattering the moment you said all I was good for was leaving.” Tears burned his eyes and he let them fall. “I could never deserve you,” he whispered, “and that’s why we can’t be together.” 

Leorio’s next exhale shuddered through his throat. “So you  _ are _ afraid,” he said quietly. 

“Yes. Terrified. Of losing you forever, of never being able to love you how you should be loved, of... of being the best man at your wedding, giving a toast to someone I’ll envy for the rest of our lives.” The blonde flinched as he said the last part, knowing he’d given up too much. 

“Pika,” the brunette gasped, “what?” 

“I’m... an idiot, Leorio, I’m so fucking stupid,” the small man sobbed. His friend turned around and hugged him, stroking his hair gently. 

“I’m really confused right now,” he whispered sadly. “Do you want to be with me or not?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Kurapika mumbled into his chest, “I’ll only ruin it if we try.” 

Leorio pulled him out of his arms and held him by his shoulders, scanning his face for any hints of what he should say next. “Kurapika.... can we at least try?” 

“How can you possibly want to be with me?” 

“Can we please, please, just try?” 

“I don’t understand why you want this!” The blonde was practically screaming, shaking in his friend’s firm grasp. “It doesn’t make any sense, Leorio, you know I’m a terrible person, you know I’m not capable of feeling anything!” 

“You’re not a terrible person, Kurapika. Don’t be ridiculous. And you feel a lot more than you admit. I know you care about me, and the boys, and Melody, and I know you send Prince Woble gifts every month, because you’re secretly a sweetheart, and I know you’re crying right now because you’re overwhelmed by all of the emotions you never let out. I just want to be with you. Can’t you let me do that?” 

“I’m only going to hurt you.” 

“You already have. And it looks like I’m still standing here. Just kiss me, you idiot. Stop thinking so much.” Leorio tilted Kurapika’s head towards him and leaned down to press their lips together, kissing him through the salty tears and his quivering mouth. The blonde clutched his hair with a quiet moan. His friend pulled back with a sigh. “Oh, right. You’re drunk, so you’re horny.” 

“No, Leorio—“ Kurapika stammered, but it was too late. He shoved through the party, ignoring everyone who tried to speak to him. He could see Leorio’s head above the crowd of people and he followed it like a lighthouse beam swinging him closer to shore. He caught up to him in a hallway, begging him to believe him, crying again as the brunette pulled away without a word. He trailed after him anyways, sitting on the floor of the hallway when he closed the door to his room and just watching the lights go off behind the frosted glass of the window. He knocked. There was a groan and the door opened and Leorio was standing there shirtless, tan and beautiful, shaking his head as he struggled against the tortured look on his face. 

“Why are you here, Kurapika?,” he asked gruffly, and all the other could manage was the word “please.” After a deep breath Leorio opened the door a bit wider and let him come in, let him stand near the bed as he lay back down. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this,” Leorio said, his voice cracking as he fought back tears. “Do you really enjoy hurting me this much?” 

“I’m trying to apologize,” Kurapika said tearfully, “I swear I’m not just drunk. Please let me stay here tonight, I need you, Leorio.” 

The brunette rolled over, facing the wall silently for a moment before he responded. “I’m... you’re so manipulative. You know I’m drunk and I can’t say no to you. We’re not having sex, okay?” 

Kurapika nodded and sat down, reaching for his back. “I’m not trying to manipulate you, if you don’t want me here you can just say that.” 

His friend shrugged. “Will you just cry in the hallway all night if I kick you out?” 

“No, I’ll probably walk around.” 

“Hmmph.” Leorio shivered slightly and sighed as he realized he wasn’t strong enough to send the Kurta away. He rolled back slowly, looking up at the blonde through watering eyes. Kurapika wiped his own tears and watched him anxiously. “It’s pretty cold in these rooms,” Leorio muttered, “so I guess you can stay.” He sat up as the small man’s face melted into shocked relief, rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Please, Pika, please let this be the last time you fuck with me like this. You know I’ll always do anything you ask. It’s not fair.” 

His friend nodded, whispering, “I promise, I’m trying to make this right.” 

The medical student snorted and rolled his eyes. “Just... c’mere. The bed’s really small. Be careful of my knee.” 

“Okay.” 

Their bodies barely fit on the thin mattress, tucked against each other like overcrowded spoons in a drawer. Kurapika lay facing Leorio’s back, staring at his tense shoulders and clenched fists. “Can I hug you?,” he whispered, but his friend just grunted. “I... okay,” Kurapika said sadly. 

“I meant yeah,” the tall man muttered. “Just don’t get any stupid ideas.” 

The blonde wrapped a small arm around his tan torso, drawing himself closer to that familiar warmth. “You need to relax,” he murmured. This statement produced a sharp laugh. 

“Yeah, whatever. Just shut it.” 

Kurapika nodded and buried his face between his friend’s shoulder blades. “Sorry,” he whispered as quietly as he could. Leorio grunted again. His body slowly softened in Kurapika’s arms, relaxing against him as his breathing slowed to a restful pace. The blonde watched his chest rising and falling, trying to let the gentle rhythm lull him to sleep. 

He must have dozed off at some point because Leorio stirring woke him up. “What time is it?,” he mumbled. 

His friend yawned. “Dunno, sun’s coming up though.” He rolled over, draping a lazy arm across Kurapika’s body thoughtlessly. 

“Um... should we get up?,” the blonde whispered. 

“Nah. ‘S too early.” Leorio sleepily nuzzled against his hair. “Mm.. you smell nice.” 

Kurapika turned towards him. Their noses were nearly touching, the soft flow of air between them catching his breath in his throat. “L-Leorio?” 

“Mm?” 

“Is it... is it okay that I’m still here?,” he asked shyly, smoothing a cowlick of dark hair. 

The tall man opened his heavy eyelids and shrugged slowly. “I didn’t expect you to be,” he yawned, “if you’re asking to leave, just go already.” 

“I don’t want to leave,” Kurapika whispered. 

“Why did you follow me?,” Leorio asked quietly. He couldn’t quite look at the blonde’s face, staring at the light crossing his shoulder instead. He drew his arm back slowly, suddenly feeling very cold. 

“I meant every word, Leorio, I... wish I could believe I could wake up like this every day.” The Kurta’s voice trembled as he watched his hand slide down the large man’s muscular arms, wishing he had better things to say. “But I don’t trust myself, I’ve already been so horrible to you.” 

“Hmm.” Leorio was afraid to speak. The painful lump in his throat threatened to burst if he opened his mouth. 

“Melody called me yesterday,” Kurapika continued softly, “I think I needed to hear from her.” He traced the line of Leorio’s ear with a nervous finger. “She was just asking me what would make me feel happy right now, I don’t think she even meant to do anything but calm me down, but when she asked what I needed you were the only thing I could think of. You usually make me so happy it scares me. I’m... afraid, Leorio. I’ve never felt so weak. Knowing you didn’t want me around was...” his voice broke as a few tears slid down his cheeks. “I couldn’t concentrate on anything, I just wanted to see you smile at me again. I don’t know how to let myself be with someone as gentle as you. I just don’t deserve you. But I want to.” 

Leorio’s eyes stung and he blinked back tears with a shaky inhale. “Why should I believe you?,” he whispered. 

Kurapika’s face crumpled in pain. He took a deep breath and managed to answer, choking on the words as he said them. “I suppose you shouldn’t.” 

Leorio nodded slowly. 

“Do you hate me?,” Kurapika asked. He was fully crying now, barely holding back from sobbing. 

The brunette’s face softened as he brushed his hair aside. “No, Pika, I could never hate you,” he murmured, “I’m just not sure this is a good idea for either of us.” 

“I- I know,” the blonde whimpered. 

“But I’m not known for good ideas, am I?,” Leorio said quietly. Kurapika’s eyes widened as the other man leaned over and kissed his forehead lightly. He looked up at that handsome, sleepy face, slowly reaching for the dark shock of hair sticking out in the gentle morning sun. 

“Leorio,” he breathed, “Can I kiss you?” 

“Mm. That depends.” 

“On what?” 

“Will you be my boyfriend, for real? I know it’s just a dumb word, but—“ 

Soft lips pressed against his before he could finish, a small, warm body melting its way deeper into his arms. “Yes,” Kurapika murmured shyly. His cheeks were burning pink as a small smile crept across his face. “Can we go on a stupid date after all of this?,” he giggled. 

Leorio grinned and kissed him again. “Am I dreaming, or did Kurapika just ask me on a date?” 

“I mean it,” the blonde whispered, “I want to go dancing with you. I don’t know why.” Their mouths met again, twin smiles melting together against the tear stained pillow. 

Kurapika fell asleep again, tucked safely in Leorio’s warm arms as the tall student drifted back into dreaming. They awoke to the sound of a fire alarm, scrambling over each other to rush outside and take charge of the chaos. Gon had already gotten everyone to proceed to the exits in an orderly fashion, carefully carrying any patients too weak to walk out of their rooms. Killua strolled up behind Kurapika and loudly cleared his throat. “It’s just a short-circuit in the basement. Should be patched up in no time. Helped me get a good charge, though.” The teen grinned and let electric sparks crackle through his white hair, scaring a few nearby nurses. 

Kurapika chuckled weakly. “If it’s in the basement, shouldn’t we be worried about that tunnel?” 

“Nah. Biscuit’s got it covered. She’s pissed off about something; anyone who runs into her is going to get beaten to a pulp.” The boy shivered slightly at the memory of training with the gem hunter. There weren’t many people who could strike fear into Killua Zoldyck’s heart, but his former teacher greatly intimated him. 

Kurapika nodded vaguely and looked at his phone, rather surprised that none of this had been communicated to him. “Are there any more leads, then?,” he asked, but Killua just shrugged. They each walked off to assist the exodus. After an hour of curbside misery everyone was allowed back indoors, most of the hospital’s inhabitants shuffling angrily towards their rooms and offices. 

Kurapika saw the back of Leorio’s head down a far hallway and blushed, hoping his friend,  _ boyfriend, _ hadn’t been too sleepy to remember their early morning conversation. He followed the tall student through the teaching wing that connected the hospital to the university’s science building, slipping into a small break room behind him and locking the door. Leorio jumped at the noise and whipped around, knife out. He burst into laughter when he realized it was just Kurapika. “Why would you sneak up on me like that?,” he wheezed, “you don’t have to take the hunter thing so seriously.” 

Kurapika beamed and leapt towards him, flinging his arms around his neck and planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Hi,” he said shyly as he slid to the floor. 

Leorio gave him a confused look but kept chuckling, unable to stop smiling at the rosy pink glow in the Kurta’s cheeks. “Be careful jumping on me, Pika, my knee’s still jacked up,” he teased, ruffling the small man’s hair. 

Kurapika was mortified. “Oh, god, did I hurt you?,” he asked desperately. He looked up at Leorio with such genuine panic in his eyes that the tall man’s smirk melted into an emotional smile. 

“No, of course not,” he said softly, “I was only teasing. Why did you follow me here?” 

“Oh,” the blonde squeaked. “I- I’m not sure, I just saw you, and I wanted to see you, so I just—just kept going, and I, um, wasn’t sure if you would still want to see me, or if I was just dreaming, so—“ 

Leorio chuckled and cut him off with a quick kiss. Kurapika’s arms went limp and he grinned like an idiot. “Boyfriends,” he whispered, feeling giddy. 

The tall student laughed again, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. “It’s not fair that you’re so cute,” he whined, “I still have every right to be upset with you.” 

Kurapika’s face fell. “I- I know,” he stammered at the floor. “I’m sorry, Leorio, I really do want to apologize.” Leorio kissed the top of his head gently. 

“We have plenty of time for that. It’s okay.” Small arms wrapped themselves tightly around his waist, hugging him close. He rubbed his boyfriend’s back, mind spinning around the word “boyfriend” in dizzy shock. “You’re my boyfriend,” he said quietly, and the blonde nodded, and then he was laughing again, practically shouting, “Oh, my god, Kurapika, you actually agreed, holy fuck, I’m telling everyone on earth!” He grabbed his face and kissed it repeatedly, Kurapika just giggling nervously as he tried to remind himself that this was really happening. 

“D-don’t make me regret it,” he warned, but his smile belied the empty threat. 

“Oh, I absolutely will,” Leorio teased, “but first, I want to kiss my boyfriend.” He did, bending down to meet Kurapika’s shy mouth as the shorter man pushed onto his toes and clutched his shirt. Leorio groaned and stepped back, leaning on his cane heavily. “Let’s, uh, sit down please,” he gasped. 


	9. Sinkholes and Adjustments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leorio and Kurapika’s new relationship is tested by working together.

A few weeks went by. Leorio’s leg healed, but he still used the cane to avoid the exhaustion that came from pacing hospital halls. Kurapika had business to attend to, and the Zodiac Council’s investigation was coming up dry. He traveled, but not before spending three days in a row sleeping over at Leorio’s apartment. On a sunny Tuesday, just as Leorio was meeting Kurapika at the airport, an explosion shook underneath the hospital. The tunnels were collapsed. Leorio shivered as he stared into the gaping pit in the warehouse next door. “What the actual fuck,” he murmured. 

Cheadle looked over at him and frowned. “It’s just dirt, Leorio.” 

He shook his head. “But where did they blow it from? We haven’t found a single shard of an explosive. And they clearly weren’t there for the blast.” 

Cheadle looked over at Mizaistom and Kanzai, who were arguing loudly out front. “I don’t have the slightest idea,” she whispered. 

Leorio shrugged. “Not really our field,” he sighed. 

Kurapika waved them over. He and Saccho had been poring over the digital scans of some aged maps. “The tunnels were only mapped for a few miles before the cartographers described concrete walls with bizarre carvings. They all turned back. We can try to follow the paths, but they each curved rather drastically, and I’m not convinced they would run in straight lines.” 

Saccho stood up. “I think we ought to see if there were any sinkholes reported in the surrounding towns,” he declared firmly. 

Kurapika nodded. “Yes,” he said slowly, “yes, that should help. Leorio, will you follow the west tunnel with me?” 

Leorio blinked and looked at Cheadle. She looked equally shocked. “Of course, if I’m not needed here at the hospital,” he said tentatively. 

She looked blankly at him. “Step outside with me, will you? We should go over your patients and a bit of your training.” He blushed and winked at Kurapika.

“We’re dating,” he blurted as soon as he stepped outside. 

Cheadle sighed. “Yes, obviously. Don’t let it get in the way, Leorio.” 

“I’ve been in love with him for years,” he gushed, “I’ve been dying to tell you, doc, I really just want to tell everyone who matters to me.” 

She blushed and stammered, “Oh, dear, Leorio, my goodness.” 

“I’m sorry our fight was so disruptive,” he continued, “He told me we were done right before the shooting, that we couldn’t continue, um, what we’d been doing, and then in the hospital, he didn’t love me, but he did, but it was such a mess, Cheadle, I was really messed up, but now, I promise, it’s all good!” 

She shook her head, trying her best to look stern. “I don’t need the details. You both need to stay focused. This is going to be dangerous.” 

Leorio grinned. “I helped him catch the leader of the Phantom Troupe, you know. We can handle anything.” 

She crossed her arms. “And were you dating at the time?” 

He turned pink. “N-no, but I was pretty preoccupied by the realization that I was in love with him. And it still went fine.” 

Cheadle couldn’t hold back her smile. “I’m glad we met, Leorio. You really are a delight, as much as you make me feel like I’m going insane.” 

“Can we hug?,” he asked shyly. She laughed and gave him a quick squeeze. 

“Don’t disappoint me.” 

—————————

In the car, Kurapika was fiddling with his chain glove. “Everything alright?,” Leorio asked, only taking his eyes off the road for a split second. 

“It was irresponsible to do this together,” the blonde said quietly. 

His companion sighed. “You scared we’ll get distracted from making a map? Come on, we’re basically just staying in hotels for an unspecified amount of time.” He grinned at the passing trees. 

“I have good reason not to trust hotels,” Kurapika snapped. 

Leorio looked over at him, concerned. “Want me to find somewhere we can stop?” The Kurta nodded silently. 

They pulled over in a cliffside town, Leorio grabbing sandwiches from the deli as Kurapika waited in a small park. He insisted on going back to the car, glancing around anxiously. His partner finished his lunch quickly and watched him pick at his food. “Kurapika, are you okay?,” he asked softly. 

The blonde shook his head slowly. “I don’t know why I’m so... tense right now. It’s—this isn’t a good idea, us being on this trip together.” 

His boyfriend sighed. “I don’t get why you keep saying that.” 

“We—we’re spending far too much time around each other, it’s not healthy,” Kurapika whispered. 

Leorio shrugged. “I like being with you, Pika. And I think we make a good team.” He took his hand, giving him a gentle smile. “You can always tell me when you need space,” he said softly. 

The blonde blushed. “Why do you have to be so... goddamn sweet,” he mumbled. “I’m not worth all this, Leorio.” His boyfriend kissed his hand, biting back a saddened frown. 

“Yes you are, Kurapika. Don’t say things like that.” 

“Can we just get back on the road?” 

They drove with the music loud, Leorio’s phone burning through a playlist he’d rushed together for the trip. He’d been saving songs that he thought Kurapika might like since the first time they kissed, hoping he’d someday have the chance to play them for him. But the blonde just stared out the window with a strange look on his face that usually meant he was diving into a hole of doubt. 

When they got to the first town, the sinkhole blocked the small strip of shops, and the inhabitants were distraught about the collapse of their local economy. The hotel manager was overly emotional about seeing them. Leorio immediately emptied his wallet every time someone begged him for money. Kurapika felt sick to his stomach and lay alone in the drowsy hotel room, waiting for the dark-haired man to come back to him. When the door opened, he sat up and called Leorio’s name far louder than he’d meant to. 

“Is everything okay?,” his boyfriend gasped as he dashed across the faded carpet. 

“I- I missed you,” the blonde mumbled. 

Leorio grinned. “I’m so in love with you,” he chuckled. 

Kurapika frowned and pulled his knees to his chest. “You know how I feel about you saying that,” he said quietly. 

“Right, sorry,” Leorio said bashfully, “I just meant that it’s nice you’re so happy to see me.” 

The blonde blushed and stood up, wrapping his arms around him and pushing to his toes. “Why do you have to be so tall?,” he whispered. 

His boyfriend laughed and picked him up, wincing as his weight shifted on his legs. “I hate that it’s harder to pick you up,” he said sadly. 

Kurapika kissed him gently. “Then let’s lie down,” he murmured. 

Leorio chuckled. “Horny bastard,” he teased, kissing him again.

They collapsed into the bed, tearing at each other’s shirts as their mouths collided. 

“It’s been too long,” Leorio growled. 

“I was only gone for a few days,” the smaller man giggled, nipping at his lips. 

“But you missed me, right?” 

Kurapika sighed, turning pink as he whispered, “Of course, Leorio.” He pulled him into a deep kiss, one hand clutching a fistful of dark hair as the other fumbled the leather belt through the uncooperative loops. Leorio moaned as his hair was tugged, and the blonde smirked. “Do you like when I pull your hair, Mr. Leorio?,” he teased. His hand slid inside his boyfriend’s pants, slowly dragging across the hardening mound between his legs. 

The tall man nodded enthusiastically, his mouth hanging open as his breath grew heavy. “Fuck, Pika,” he gasped as the small hand squeezed him. 

“You’re so cute,” Kurapika giggled shyly. Their lips met softly at first, the kiss growing hungrier by the second. The smaller man ground against the other’s thigh as he rubbed him, muffling his small sounds of pleasure in his tan neck. 

“Mmm, I missed having you in my hands,” Leorio murmured as he pressed Kurapika’s hips closer to his own. His wandering hands clutched at soft flesh, eliciting delighted gasps. The blonde shoved his pants down, kicking them away as his lover stripped off the remainder of his clothes. Their bodies came back together in an impassioned kiss, greedily devouring each other as they rolled across the bed. 

Kurapika grabbed the back of Leorio’s hair and yanked it back, grinning at the sharp hitch in his breath. He shifted their weight to wrap his legs around the larger man’s torso, grinding their bodies together as his hand snaked between them to stroke him. 

“Oh, fuck,” Leorio moaned. Surprisingly sharp teeth came down on his neck and he bit back a squeal, hips bucking upward into the giggling blonde’s grasp. 

Kurapika grinned as he dragged his tongue from Leorio’s collarbone to his ear. “Would you like to fuck your boyfriend, Mr. Leorio?,” he whispered breathlessly. 

“Yes, please,” the other gasped, pushing him over and reaching between his legs. The blonde smiled up at him, his long hair splayed out in a golden tangle across the limp pillows. “Wow, Pika,” Leorio murmured. He gently stroked his face, momentarily distracted by the stunning man before him. He kissed him slowly, smiling as Kurapika’s cheeks radiated warmth against his face. “I could look at you all day,” he said softly into his mouth. 

“Leorio,” the smaller man mumbled shyly, “you’re embarrassing me again.” 

Leorio grinned. “Sorry, babe.” 

He kissed his way down his body, enjoying the shuddering breaths each time he focused on a particularly sensitive area of delicate skin. He moved slowly. When he took Kurapika in his mouth, the blonde let out a sweet little sound that made him blush. After a few minutes of rutting into him he suddenly switched the direction of his tongue, earning a deep moan. He grinned as he came up for breath. “I love sucking your cock,” he said. 

Kurapika turned bright red. “I- oh, fuck!” His head hit the pillow before he could begin to protest. He felt a slick finger carefully probe him and he gasped, “yes, Leorio,” his words going higher as the vibrations of his lover’s laughter tumbled through him. The finger pressed inside him, going in deep enough to make his legs shake slightly. “Ohhh,” was all he could manage. He gazed down as his fingers curled through thick, dark hair, gasping in pleasure as Leorio buried his nose in the soft pile of blonde hair and stared back at him with shining, happy eyes. When another finger pushed into him he thought he might completely lose control. It wasn’t long before he did, legs shaking slightly as they wrapped around his boyfriend’s neck.

Leorio came up to kiss him, tugging one leg up around his torso. As their tongues meshed together he thrust his widely spread fingers with more force. Kurapika bit down on his lip, squirming around him. The tight grip in Leorio’s hair was driving him crazy. His ready erection ground against Kurapika’s thighs as they sighed into each other. He grinned wildly when the smaller man rocked his hips directly into the third finger he’d added. 

“Oh, fuck, Leorio, please,” he gasped, “I need more, I need it.” 

The brunette kissed him aggressively. He rolled over, setting Kurapika down on his chest as he pulled the condom on. His lover rubbed against him, whining softly. Leorio’s large hands grasped his sides and he sat up, fumbling behind the blonde’s perfect ass as he tried to get the angle right. He stopped breathing when his hair was yanked back. Kurapika gave him a grin he’d never seen before and took hold of him. 

“I want you to watch me,” he growled softly. 

“Shit,” Leorio exhaled, and then he was groaning as the smaller man lowered himself, biting his lip to stifle his moans. 

“I always forget how good you feel inside me,” Kurapika sighed happily. He pressed their foreheads together and smiled that mischievous grin again. “Leorio,” he panted, “You are so fucking hot.” 

His boyfriend swallowed a shocked squeak as he was shoved down to the bed. Kurapika’s body came lower and lower with each slow movement, his head thrown back in ecstasy as he held the larger man down with the hands he was using to brace himself. 

“Holy fuck, baby,” Leorio moaned, “You’re incredible.” 

The blonde blushed and increased his pace, letting his mouth fall open as his breathing grew shakier. “Oh, god,” he moaned, “yes, Leorio.” 

His boyfriend leaned back on his arms, beaming as he watched his lover fucking himself. “You look great like this,” he said in a teasing voice, “doing all the work for me.” Kurapika just whimpered. 

Leorio bucked his hips up aggressively, causing Kurapika to shriek and lose his pressure on the larger’s man’s chest. His boyfriend took the opportunity to roll them over, kissing him deeply as he thrust inside. “Leorio, Leorio, Leorio,” the blonde mumbled into his mouth. 

Leorio kissed his forehead with a smile before dragging him towards the end of the bed. His voice was a low whisper as he grinned down at the smaller man. “Pika, do you want me to fuck you harder?” 

“Yes please,” Kurapika nodded enthusiastically. He shrieked when his lover complied, slamming into him with his legs draped over his shoulders. 

Leorio had overestimated the strength of his knee. It buckled and he fell onto the bed, laughing as he rolled their bodies to the side. “Sorry,” he chuckled, “stupid fuckin leg.” 

Kurapika kissed him and giggled. “I don’t care,” he laughed, “I’m just glad to be with you.” 

The tall man buried his face in his halo of blonde hair to hide his quivering lips. He shoved himself back into the Kurta, eliciting a sharp gasp that disappeared into his collarbones. 

“Leorio,” the blonde murmured against his skin, “I love when you fuck me slowly, like this, it’s, oh, yes.” 

Leorio was caught off guard by the tenderness, trying not to cry, not to tell him he loved him more than anything in the world. He just kissed him, holding his hair gently as his hips rocked slowly against him. Kurapika wrapped his legs around him, his arms pulling his head deeper into their kiss. His body trembled slightly with each powerful thrust, barely able to keep his head from falling away from his lover’s mouth. Leorio grunted in his ear and sped up, closing his eyes as the blonde tugged at his hair and sucked lightly on his neck. 

“Yes, Leorio, yes,” he gasped, and Leorio groaned, “Close,” and Kurapika bit down hard and he moaned loudly. “Fuck, Pika,” was all he could manage. 

“I love when you come for me,” whispered in his ear, sent him over the edge and he lost himself in that soft mouth and warm body, unable to stop himself from moaning, “I love you.” 

Kurapika shuddered and tried to kiss the words away. Leorio slid down his body with a soft grunt and began eating him out, earning a quiet whimper. Small hands wove fingers into his dark hair and he sucked more eagerly. A brief cry drew his eyes upwards, gazing at that beautiful face he loved so much as his lover bit back a louder sound. “S-so good, Leorio,” the blonde gasped as his back arched off the bed. Leorio managed to keep his movements consistent as his head was crushed between Kurapika’s thighs, sucking the loud shout of pleasure down into a soft whimper. 

Kurapika lay sprawled on the bed, panting quietly as Leorio crawled up and wrapped his arms around him. “That was fun,” the brunette murmured, “you don’t usually talk so much.” His boyfriend blushed and shook his head quietly, staring up at the ceiling. He absentmindedly twirled a piece of Leorio’s hair and the tall man sighed blissfully into his neck. Kurapika kissed his forehead and slid out of the bed. After cleaning up and pulling his clothes back on, he stared at himself in the mirror. He splashed water on his face but it didn’t get rid of his spiraling thoughts.  _ It’s just a stupid word, why am I so upset by it?This is all too much for me. I’m not used to... whatever this is. _ The faucet gurgled away as his hands clenched the sides of the sink. After a few deep breaths, he stepped back into the bedroom. 

Leorio was sitting up. “Kurapika, are you alright?” 

The blonde stood shyly against the wall, unsure what to say. “I... yes, everything’s fine.” 

His boyfriend rolled his eyes. “Very convincing. Do you want to sit down or are you just going to stand there?” 

Kurapika opened his mouth but all he could do was shake his head and slowly slide to the floor. 

Leorio frowned and started towards him. “Kurapika, what’s—“ 

“N-no, just—stay there,” the Kurta stammered. “I’m... I don’t know,” he said quietly. His boyfriend nodded and sat down heavily. He watched him tugging at his shirt, waiting for him to speak again. 

“Leorio, I... you have to stop that,” Kurapika finally sighed. “It’s not—just stop saying it, please.” 

Leorio sank backwards onto the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. “Yeah, okay,” he mumbled, “sorry again.” He closed his eyes and exhaled a slow, painful sigh. “I don’t get it, Pika,” he said softly. “But I’m sorry I keep slipping up.” 

Kurapika pulled his knees to his chest. He felt very small all of a sudden, almost small enough to disappear completely. The carpet beneath him seemed to get further away the longer he stared at it. 

“Does it make you feel guilty?” Leorio asked quietly. He pushed himself up slowly. Kurapika didn’t look at him. “It doesn’t bother me that you don’t say it back,” the brunette continued, “but I don’t want to make you feel bad. I just talk too much.” 

The blonde shook his head slowly. “I... I suppose that could be part of it. But... it doesn’t matter. Just stop bringing it up, please.” He dragged himself from the floor and set up his laptop, still unable to look anywhere near the bed. His hands were shaking. 

Leorio sighed and lit a cigarette. “Alright. I’ll keep trying. Just don’t stop talking to me. I really enjoyed that.” 

Kurapika blushed at the screen. “I... I’m trying, too,” he whispered. 

His boyfriend cleared his throat, hoping he wouldn’t sound as emotional as he felt. “Kurapika,” he breathed, “I really appreciate that.” The blonde just nodded. Leorio walked towards him slowly and wrapped his arms around him. “Hey,” he said softly. Kurapika’s shoulders were tense. “Any updates?,” he asked. 

The smaller man released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Oh. Um, it looks like Mizai also found his first sinkhole. That’s all.” 

“Okay. It’s getting pretty late, do you want me to grab dinner?” 

“Yes, that would be nice, thank you.” Leorio kissed his cheek gently and closed the door quietly on his way out. 

————————

Kurapika stroked Leorio’s hair gently as the morning broke across their bed. There was nothing in between them, no clothes, no bombs, no stuttering lies or denials or miscommunications, only the softness of his boyfriend’s breath rolling across the sheets. He leaned closer and listened to his heartbeat. Melody had told him once that Leorio’s was her favorite she’d ever heard, and as he listened, he began to feel like he was finally comprehending what she’d meant. Leorio shifted in his sleep and pulled Kurapika a bit closer. The blonde smiled. Perhaps, he mused to himself, perhaps love wasn’t entirely off the table just yet. 


End file.
